World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: [Story] The Burn
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Here is the beginning of my story. I hope you like!
I would have chapter 1 as a prologue, because it is two short to be considered a chapter. Plus be more descriptive about your battles, or else things seem boring.
i'm just starting the story! jeez, man, don't be so harsh in the very beginning. plus, you'll really like a chapter 3 battle, when it arrives. i have already written this story. chill, man.
Sorry, but Everyone gets critisized on their first chapter, I mean my story: http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-story-Re...power-ch-1, has been criticized on how it doesn't describe me enough(in a star wars pun at that). At least you could put your chapters in spoilers, I couldn't even figure that out apparently.
He's just tryin to help, bro...
Anyways, this is too short...
The whole stpry together is basiclly a little bit more than what I consider one chapter.
There also needs to be more description.
Anyways, KIU.
Thanks, China, but I've already written this story, as explained in my other story. I'm just adding the story on slowly. Act 1 is like a chapter, but much longer. After chapter 7, act 2 will come. Plus, why do you always show up as away?
I can clearly differentiate between "harsh" and "acceptable criticism". If you think someone is being unnecessarily hostile, just report and I'll review the comment.