If Kira/Bri didn't end tragically, there wouldn't be as much drama or emotion. I love the story so far!
Here's Chapter 6!!
RATED PG
Miles had sent out the gang to go out and search for R-Dev once again. Miles heard a sound over his transceiver. It was Devin's.
"Devin, you found something?" he said.
There was no response, but there was a barrage of large clashing sounds, followed by the shattering of glass, snapping of wood, and the bending of metal.
"DEVIN!!!!" Miles shouted through the transceiver.
The sounds continued to pound through the speaker for many agonizing seconds, then, right before the speaker faded to static, the sound of an ambulance siren.
"NO!!!" Miles feared the worst. He called the gang back. After they all safely returned, Miles took Bryan and Kira with him to the hospital.
They immediately found Devin's room. It was a horrendous sight.
Both of Devin's bionic arms were demolished, a large gash on his shoulder was patched up, and a bandage that covered all of Devin's head, including one eye. Devin was also unconscious, but had a steady heartbeat.
Miles was emotional, and angry. "You see this. Kira...?" he said calmly.
"Y..Y-Yes?" Kira stuttered.
"This is what happens when a battle gets out of control... I don't want you ever losing your temper, or this could be you, ya hear me...?"
"Okay..." Kira silently replied.
"Good...." Miles said turning to him. "This... This should not be you.." Miles broke down after that, and Bryan took him into his arms.
Well into the night, around midnight or so, Miles was awaken by a moaning sound. He got up, thinking it was Devin.
However, it was Kira. He seemed to be fighting something in his dreams.
"Kira?" Miles asked.
Kira replied while sleeping. "No...get away..."
Miles couldn't help it. As Kira struggled more, Miles woke him up. Kira jolted awake.
"Kira? You okay? You were fighting in your sleep..."
"Oh.. Y-Yeah, I'm fine..." Kira replied.
"Something was happening in your dream..." Miles remarked.
"It's something personal..." Kira replied.
Miles nodded and went back to sleep.
The next morning, Devin had woke up, and was getting his bionic arms replaced. During that time, Kira stepped outside to get away from it all. Then, something started happening...
Kira's mind was being cluttered. Evil thoughts and scenes entered his vision. He couldn't shake them.
"Aaaahhhh!!!" Kira yelled out. "They hurt!!!"
Bryan stepped out to check on him. "Kira??" he said. "Something wrong?"
"OWWWWW!!!" Kira said, turning to Bryan. His nose was bleeding from all of the pain. "I'm not okay!! Help me Bryan!!!"
Then, as Kira's vision went black, he blankly started at Bryan, then fell flat on his face, his nose flowing with blood.
"OH MY GOD!!!!!!" Bryan screamed. "HELP!!!!!"
Bryan couldn't say anything else.He was too scared by the terrible sight.
Wow. What's up with Kira? Does he have a mental problem or something? I love the new chapter, BTW.
Here's Chapter 7!!
Kira was walking through a dark land in his head. It looked like Earth, but everything was drooping and black. All the trees were dead. Kira was afraid.
Then, in front of him, stood R-Dev. He did not even know what R-Dev looked like yet, but it was exact...
The dark black pants, coal black shirt, heavy black boots, black gloves, and his short black hair covered by his black cap. R-Dev stared with his evil black eyes at Kira. He was trembling. He made a run for it.
Kira turned to look behind him, and R-Dev was following. Kira did't have the stamina that R-Dev's inbumane body had. R-Dev caught up, and tackled Kira to the ground, hard. Kira tried to fight off R-Dev, but no luck...
Kira woke up from the nightmare to find Miles, Bryan, and Devin looking at him.
"Owww...my head..." Kira said, getting up slowly. "W-What happened...?"
"You started, like, having a nosebleed..." Bryan described. "Then you just passed out right on the concrete..."
Kira thought about his nightmare. "I think...I saw R-Dev...my god is he horrible..."
All four of them just stayed silent.
A few hours later Devin was completely okay and Kira had recovered, so they all left for home. Kira decided t stop by his favorite Zaxby's in town. "Man, I'm hungry..." he thought.
Kira was cutting across a back parking lot, but was stopped by a black figure coming out from behind the trees. Kira...was terrified...
It was R-Dev, appearing just as he did in his dream.
"Leave me alone!!!" Kira yelled out.
The snowflakes landing on R-Dev's body did not melt. He was that cold. He rose his hand, and an evil power surged through Kira.
"Stop!!!" Kira yelled out. "You're hurting me!!!"
Kira tried to fight off R-Dev's evil. For many grueling seconds Kira fought in excruciating pain. Finally, he was successful, and he fell in weakness.
R-Dev could've easily struck again and taken his body over, but he did not. He then walked back behind the trees and disappeared.
Kira slowly got up, recovering from the attack.
"I don't understand..." Kira said to himself. "I've barely been known by R-Dev, and he's already attacked me more often than Miles. What does he see in me that's more important than his bitter rival?"
Kira pondered this as he got up, forgot about the event, and went to fill his hunger...
You spelled inhumane inbumane... A bit short and choppy tbh.
Wow! I'm speechless! Chapter 6 and 7 were the best yet! Ohh, poor Devin.
Hey, nice job def! This is really going along well.
Chapter 8 is here!!!
Kira got food for everyone and arrived home. His friends, obviously hungry, dug into their stuff as quickly as possible.
Kira sat at the futon, while his friends sat at the table. Bri and Miles came through with their food to join him.
"They ran out of chairs..." Miles said, and the two sat beside him.
"I enjoy the company guys..." Kira said.
"No problem..." Bri said, giving Kira a peck on the cheek.
As they were eating, Kira was thinking whether to tell them what he saw on his way there. Finally, he made up his mind.
"Guys?" Kira asked. "Can I tell you something?"
"Sure..." Miles said, swallowing his bite. "What is it?"
"I think... *gulp* I saw R-Dev on my way to get food..."
Miles almost spit out the drink he had in his mouth.
"I was taking an empty parking lot way, and he came from behind a tree. He immediately tried taking me over!!"
"Oh my god...' Bri said. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah..." Kira replied. "He took up my energy, and I fell down, tired. I don't know why he didn't finish me off. He surely had enough energy..."
Miles was in a state of thinking. He was then hit by another flashback...
He was eight years old, and he ran into a stranger that looked just like R-Dev. He performed the same thing Kira was talking about. He knew that led up to something, but he wasn't sure of what...
As they finished up, Kira went to put his trash away. As he looked out the window, he saw R-Dev, staring back at him, as if he was waiting for him to walk out.
Kira backed away and ran to his bed, quivering. Miles noticed. "The hell you doing that for?" he asked Kira.
Kira pointed out the window. Miles looked out. He saw a black shade, like a cloud, disappearing behind another tree. Miles wasn't sure of what Kira saw, but he sure saw something...
"Come on, Kira..." Miles said. "We're going for a walk..."
Wow. Chapter 8 is quite entertaining. You obviously did a very nice job, it's just a little short...
Wow. Can you post a link to your other storys please.
: just search that. : I really find the content overall becoming somewhat lower compared to your other awesome stories. I love it, but content is lacking here a little bit.
Hmm, I have to agree with ukdl123. This story is still great and all, but it's missing the glorious sparkle and shine of the other three.
Are you okay, Drosselmeyer?
The story is good but i have to agree with duck. The story seems Kira-centered
To answer Duck's question, no, I am not. I had been diagnosed with ADD and partial dyslexia yesterday, so it's affected my thinking pretty bad. It's also put me in a pretty depressed mood...
Just saying guys, it might be a while before the next chapter hits this thread. Sorry guys.
You and ChinaBladeâ„¢? Aww, I hope you both don't let it bring you down. No matter what, you both are the awesomest writers ever!
It's okay! I'll be waiting, quack!
WHAT!! THATS ROUGH MAN!!! Everything happens for a reason, so maybe this was meant for something good. And as Richard Bach said, " What the caterpillar calls the end, the master calls it a butterfly." Im not saying that this is the end, u just shouldnt be depressed bout it. Ryan higa has ADHD, he is one of the most famous utubers. Take it positively and use it as a strength, thats what great people do. To keep the bad thing in mind and mourn is not going to get u anywhere. So keep ur head high and call urself special.
(Oct. 25, 2012 11:45 AM)DefStamina88 Wrote: [ -> ]I had been diagnosed with ADD and partial dyslexia yesterday, so it's affected my thinking pretty bad.
... You too, huh? I have to deal with dyslexia and depression. But, don't let that stop you. I didn't. My reading teacher, the person who inspires me to write, said a lot of famous people had dyslexia and/or ADD. So, don't let that stop you.
I hope you feel happier soon. I'll be waiting for that next chapter.
~China
It's okay, def. I have narcolepsy. It's a sleeping disorder that makes me fall asleep due to excessive emotion, specifically anger. pm me for details. Just go with it. I hope you feel better about it, and I can't wait until (I just fell asleep, man do i hate that!) that next chapter!
(Oct. 26, 2012 3:05 AM)ukdl123 Wrote: [ -> ]It's okay, def. I have narcolepsy. It's a sleeping disorder that makes me fall asleep due to excessive emotion, specifically anger. pm me for details. Just go with it. I hope you feel better about it, and I can't wait until (I just fell asleep, man do i hate that!) that next chapter!
I read about narcolepsy in a book, "The Mysterious Benedict Society". Are you serious? Hmm...
I guess I have a lot of chapters to read now with my absence!
I hope dyslexia doesn't get your way of being an excellent author!
@ duck: that's my favorite book, because it brings awareness to a disorder that is actually the most common sleeping disorder, and it is also really fun to read!
I love that series! The second book wasn't that great but still pretty good. Anyway back on topic- Def, you are a great writer no matter what. Nothing will change that. I hope you keep writing but would understand if you didn't.
Okay, so I've started on Chapter 9, but thing have gone from bad to worse...
So, even though it turns out I don't have dyslexia, alongside my ADD, I now have been diagnosed with Autism.
Great. Just carping great...
I thought autism comes only in the first 3 years of life? Anyways that should not put u down, we all love ur stories very much, what will happen if u leave the last story of urs in the middle!!