World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: BeyBlade Story: Fight For Fame, Road to Success[2000+ Views!]
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So, this is my 2nd story, and my most popular thread (Thanks Guys!!). It worked out really well! Here's the chapters...

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
EPILOGUE

This story has ended, but i would appreciate any feedback on it, and tell me what you likes! Smile
That was awesome! I hope to see more from this, for I can already tell it's gonna be a great story! Grin
(Jun. 04, 2012  11:55 PM)Ozone Wrote: [ -> ]That was awesome! I hope to see more from this, for I can already tell it's gonna be a great stroy! Grin

Thanks. Stay Tuned! I already started chapter 2, and it might be up later today! Smile
Nice story. No obvious mistakes. Waiting for the next chapter. Smile
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(Jun. 04, 2012  11:41 PM)DefStamina88 Wrote: [ -> ]So I've decided to create my 2nd story. Hopefully it's more successful than my last one.

Chapter 1

I Shall update the OP as much as I can with new chapters. I will also post the chapters in the thread. Hope you like! Smile
Its awesome! Your a born writer! Grin

Chapter 2 is finished!

This story has AMAZING potential!!! You should try to make the chapters longer, and remember, the dialouge goes like this:

"I swear, I will destroy Kira Nata if it's the last thing I do," Xerox hissed.

"Calm down. If you get too worked up, you might - you might - it might happen to you again..." Kailin sobbed.

I put my arm around her. "Don't worry, Kailin. That won't happen, not if we work together. Now, don't cry. I don't like seeing you this way..."


I love the characters so far, and the battles are exciting! THE BLADERS' SPIRIT!!!
Thanks for the feedback guys! Here's Chapter 3!


Once again, give me feedback! Smile
Sorry for the Double Post, but I have completed Chapter 4!


This is my favorite Chapter!
Sweet Chapter 4!!! It's my favorite too! ^•^ How did you come up with the bey, Corona? I love it; I really wish it existed! T•T
(Jun. 06, 2012  12:30 AM)Fakirs Duck Wrote: [ -> ]Sweet Chapter 4!!! It's my favorite too! ^•^ How did you come up with the bey, Corona? I love it; I really wish it existed! T•T

I just found it to be a cool name. I drew a prototype bey ( that unfortunately got lost in the move Unhappy ) Called Lead Corona, Left Tornado 130, Rubber Hole Flat. I still sometimes call my beys Corona by accident XD

To draw a visual, think of Corona as Gasher's color and Cygnus' shape with only 10 dots on it...

Chapter 5 will be up soon everyone!
Chapter 5 is done!


EDIT: Finished Chapter 6!!


Tell me what you think about these please!! Smile
Got Chapter 7 done!!! Read it!!


Please leave feedback!

Chapter 7 was great! Once again, the battles were exciting, easy to visualize, and well written! You should try to make the chapters a bit longer though!
Got Chapter 8 for ya!!


Keep leaving feedback! Smile
Got Chapter 9!! I believe it's my longest chapter so far...


Keep letting me know what you think!
Got Chapter 10!!

Chapter 11 is done!

Ooh, romance! I never expected that! CD has got himself a pretty classy bey, there, hasn't he? Wonderful chapter!!! I can't wait for more!!! Joyful_2
Thanks for the feedback! Kinda just learned how to add romance. Looks like it worked, heh...

Chapter 12 is here!

Another awesome chapter! Oh no, CD won! Gasp That was just... great...! There's no other way to describe it!
Wow, have no idea how I did it (SO MANY POSSIBLE OUTCOMES), but I got Chapter 13 done! Little short, but eh, I ran out of ideas for this chapter...

Hm, I could've sworn I've posted on this story before...
Forgive me being all senile, sorry about that.

Just looking at chapter 13, you have a lot of dialogue. Yes, that is a writing style, and yes that can work. But you do need to throw in some descriptions for the battle. Describe it! Let us know how hard the character is fighting to win, or how badly he needs the victory. Tell us how Corona used all of his power into his special attack, and describe how powerful it was.
Thanks for the feedback, Sparta! I'll try to incorporate that into my next battle... Looking at it, I agree. I'll work on that... Smile

P.S., you haven't posted in this topic yet...

EDIT: Well, now ya did XD
Chapter 14 is here! Wink More romance!

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