World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: Beyblade: Horogium,Master of Time
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Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4

Chapter 5
nice story!!
Can't wait for chapter 2
This story needs a lot of work, but I can see the potential in it!
Thanks guyz.Next Chapter is coming on Saturday.I'm gonna be posting a chapter of a different story on Saturday as well,so it's gonna take a while.
Interesting story. I don't like how you just took Basalt Horogium, but okay Smile
You need longer chapters.
Nice but you could use more detail and mabye more intresting beys but there are definatily some good things in here keep it up Grin
(Feb. 29, 2012  10:56 PM)Titi Wrote: [ -> ]I don't like how you just took Basalt Horogium, but okay Smile
Don't worry!Wink More beys are going to come in the next chapters!


(Mar. 01, 2012  12:26 AM)ScottPilgrimWBA Wrote: [ -> ]Nice but you could use more detail and mabye more intresting beys but there are definatily some good things in here keep it up Grin
I will have more interesting beys coming soon.Don't worry!If you want,you could tell me a cool one.


(Feb. 29, 2012  11:11 PM)Andy12 Wrote: [ -> ]You need longer chapters.
Well I don't have microsoft word,so I can't document it and save it on a USB,and drafts just mess up my computer.That's why I have short chapters.I will have lots of chapters because of this,but it's all I can do.

I don't have enough time on Saturday to post the chapter,so here it is:

Chapter 2: The Unrevealed Secret

Well,after I won that first battle,I went home.I thought about what I was going to do next.I realized that there are some mysteries about Horogium,so I asked my friend Vulcan.I knocked on the door...
"Come in!" A voice called through the door after I knocked.I opened the door.
"Hey,Jake!" Vulcan said in suprise.
"Hey!" I replied."I want to ask you something."
"Yeah?"Vulcan asked.
I replied,"Do you know anything about my Basalt Horogium?"
"Let me examine it."He answered.I gave Vulcan my bey for him to examine.He checked and checked,but didn't find anything.
"Hey,how about me and you have a battle?" Vulcan asked.
"Sure!" I answered.We went to the backyard where there was a beystadium.We then readied our launchers.
"3!" I called out.
"2!" Vulcan cried.
"1!" We both called out
"Go Shoot!' We both shouted as our beys shot into the stadium.
Horogium shot into the middle of the stadium.Vulcan's bey was a Vulcan Phoenix D125RS.It kind of suited Vulcan because of his name and the 'Vulcan' metal wheel on Phoenix.Horogium and Phoenix were both standing in the middle of the stadium,which caused constant clashing,which got annoying after a while.
"Phoenix!!!Special move!Vulcan wing smash!!!" Vulcan cried with his hand up in the air.
"Horogium!" I called out. "Special move!Counter Time smash!!!"
Horogium starts spinning the other way as Phoenix comes flying at Horogium.Phoenix hits,but gets shot right into the air and comes flying back down outside of the stadium.
"Again!" I said in shock of victory of my second beybattle.Me and Vulcan both stood at our positions around the stadium as Horogium flew back to my hand.We both stood there,as if we were paralysed...
Nice. I like how you used a bit of creativity, while using the rules of beyblade.
Thats gettin better keep goin! Are you looking more for real beys or made up ones?
(Mar. 03, 2012  2:23 AM)ScottPilgrimWBA Wrote: [ -> ]Are you looking more for real beys or made up ones?
Any.Only if they make sense.The only parts that can be made up are the metal wheel,spin track,and tip though.

Ok I finally have time to post chapter three,so here it is:

Chapter 3:Into the Hole

After the "Fake Paralysation (A word that I made up)," me and Vulcan went into his house.Vulcan was asking his parents something.As Vulcan got an answer,he told me what he asked his parents.The answer wasn't pleasant.There was a hole in the parking lot!
"Oh no!" I cried as I pulled my bey out of my pocket..
"How about we investigate it?" Vulcan added.
"Lets wait.It may be dangerous," I said in reply.We both nodded and went across the street.I think it was one of his other friends.His name was Asenjo.
"Hey Vulcan!Wasup?" Asenjo asked.
"Not much." Vulcan replied."I just wanna ask you something."
"What is it?" Asenjo asked.
"Do you know about Basalt Horogium 145WD?" Vulcan replied in question.
"Never heard of it!Is it new?" Asenjo asked curiously.
"No clue.Another friend of mine here owns Horogium.He's just a beginner at Beyblade but he just won his first two battles.When I say that,I mean two IN A ROW!" Vulcan explained to Asenjo.
"Weird," Asenjo thought.
"How about we battle Asenjo?" I asked.
"Sure!" Asenjo said! "My bey is an Assault Rumanis 140EB! (Extreme Ball)
"Assault Rumanis!?" Both me and Vulcan shouted in question.
"Yep!"Asenjo replied."Come on!Over to the hole over there!Well battle in there!"
"Ok!" I exclaimed without fear.
"Sure!" Vulcan added.So we head into the hole and both me and Asenjo stand at different sides of a big underground stadium...
Your an amazing story teller! Keep up the good work
Thanks.IDK what I should do for my next chapter.I think I should take a short break.(I'm at a condo with no computers I'm using my iPod right now)I need to think up som ideas anyway.Please don't rush me a good author needs time to think ya no!Grin
I think this story needs :more detail , longer chapters and more interesting battles. Other than that, nice story
Ok I don't know what to do next for chapter four.Anyone have a character request?Wanna be in it?Have any suggestions for Beyblades?
(Mar. 12, 2012  8:25 PM)Blitzy Wrote: [ -> ]I think this story needs :more detail , longer chapters and more interesting battles. Other than that, nice story

Don't worry Blitzy!Grin In the next chapter there will be an amazing (beyond that!) battle more extreme than ever before!!!Grin Smile Wink
(Mar. 15, 2012  8:14 PM)Crax686 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok I don't know what to do next for chapter four.Anyone have a character request?Wanna be in it?Have any suggestions for Beyblades?
Beyblade Suggestion: Thunder Bull R145B
Character suggestion:A tall teenager with a dark side
(Mar. 15, 2012  8:14 PM)Crax686 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok I don't know what to do next for chapter four.Anyone have a character request?Wanna be in it?Have any suggestions for Beyblades?

I have a bey and character request!!Grin
Character:Tamashii (meaning soul in japanese0
Hes a cheerful and funny person, but he gets pretty seirious when it comes to something he needs to suceed in.An example:Beyblade.

The BeybladeConfusedaikou (meaning ultimate in japanese) Hogosha (wich means Guardian in japanese.)

Hey, he's not supposed to accept character requests!
He said he wants them.....Anyways, if so:
Name: Zero
Personality: Cool and calm.
Looks: Tall with long blond hair.
Bey: Shining Leone Long Claw 145 WD
Special move: Blinding claw move: Bright light fills arena, blinding everything temporarily. Bey then uses spin track to attack Tip and make it wobble and lose spin for a sleep out.
(Mar. 15, 2012  8:14 PM)Crax686 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok I don't know what to do next for chapter four.Anyone have a character request?Wanna be in it?Have any suggestions for Beyblades?
Not so good with Characters, but A Beyblade that would be cool is Grand Hippo R145 EDB (Eternal Defense Ball)
Ok I'll try to add as many as possible just wait a bit.Don't worry!It will get done soon!

(Mar. 16, 2012  9:03 PM)KaotiK Wrote: [ -> ]
(Mar. 15, 2012  8:14 PM)Crax686 Wrote: [ -> ]Ok I don't know what to do next for chapter four.Anyone have a character request?Wanna be in it?Have any suggestions for Beyblades?

I have a bey and character request!!Grin
Character:Tamashii (meaning soul in japanese0
Hes a cheerful and funny person, but he gets pretty seirious when it comes to something he needs to suceed in.An example:Beyblade.

The BeybladeConfusedaikou (meaning ultimate in japanese) Hogosha (wich means Guardian in japanese.)
Ok.I wont forget to put it in just be aware that I may not be able to match EVERYTHING.


I am not posting this week's chapter I don't have enough ideas.When I get more I will post.

(Mar. 04, 2012  11:44 PM)Crax686 Wrote: [ -> ]
(Mar. 03, 2012  2:23 AM)ScottPilgrimWBA Wrote: [ -> ]Are you looking more for real beys or made up ones?
The only parts that can be made up are the metal wheel,spin track,and tip though.
Ok I kinda broke the rule of my statement when "Assault Rumanis" was mentioned in chapter 3,so all parts can be made up.



Also I agree with T L-drago 9207.I'm not accepting characters (sorry about that) but I will accept Beyblades.
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