This is only an introduction to my story and my first creation for this website...XD
This is only to gain a feedback from the members whether or not you want me continue my writing and also to hear any suggestion or improvement that needs to be done.
Prologue
“Why would the Dragons want to capture me?â€
“Because descendants of the Blue Dragon are exceedingly rare,†Hades explained. “The Blue Dragon was a unique dragon that has a unique power depends on the person’s personality, and the skills that their descendants possess would be of great threat to the Dragons.â€
“Go On,†I prompted. “Because Blue Dragon’s descendants will probably going to take revenge concerning to what happened to their ancestors, the Dragons see them as a threat that needs to be eliminated. For centuries, they have haunted the Blue Dragon’s descendants. They kill all the adults and all the children over the age of five. They then took the children and raise those children themselves, indoctrinating them into their beliefs. If the children question the ‘natural order’ they are disposed of.â€
I sank down, my knees are weak at the images that Hades words brought to mind. “By disposed of, you mean killed.â€
thank you for taking your time to read this and please do leave some suggestions or comment. hope you guys like it..
the first chapter of this story will be up in next week or so... XD
It's alright. Nothing special. The speech seems a bit cliche and they speak so obviously. Like this:
(Nov. 03, 2011 9:25 AM)Dr. Peace Wrote: [ -> ]“By disposed of, you mean killed.â€
Nah carp.
And there are also a few flaws like this one:
(Nov. 03, 2011 9:25 AM)Dr. Peace Wrote: [ -> ]“The Blue Dragon was a unique dragon that has a unique power depends on the person’s personality, and the skills that their descendant
doesn't make sense, I think there was a missing word.
I would like you to continue writing this though. I don't think I can truly judge the story just on that small amount of text. Good luck with this.
thanks...i want the lines make it more dramatic like the person is in terror...can't even think the simple things...scared..like that... XD
well,, if go along the stories, actually, it will make sense...i don't want to spill the beans yet..look out for the first chapter...btw thanks...it really helped..XD