World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.

Full Version: Writing Battle Tourney! Round 2: ControL_ Vs. Noodoosoup!
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Here we go!

Entry 1!
Chapter 2 - A Decisive Loss (Click to View)
Entry 2!

Ok, first to 5 votes, right?

Voting ends August 10th

Vote away!

Entry 1: 1
Entry 2: 4
Entry 2. It appeals to me more.
C'mon, people! Vote! We need to finish this tourney by the end of summer!
Entry two is more interesting i like the bro verseus sister thing
Just so you know, entry 1 has nothing to do with a decisive loss. Just sayin'.
Decisive- Settling an issue; producing a definite result.
Loss- The fact of losing someone or something. The state or feeling of grief when deprived of someone or something of value.

The character lost someone important to him, which produced the result of him embarking on a journey. Speechless
What was decisive?
SouL_Yes it does, it just has a different way of expressing it. The loss is that the character looses their mom, and the decision because of it is to become beyblade champions and find his dad.

I really like the way that the writer of entry one decided on showing the theme, it was a different take on it. I also loved the description that they used within it, and the way that they incorporated the characters thoughts into those descriptions. The creativity, descriptions, and just the way that the writer wrote it causes me to vote for Entry 1.

EDIT: Sort of beaten by NoodooSoup. I take a long time to post...
Noodoosoup has said it herself, a loss takes place forwarding into a decision. It isn't like that at all, it's a decision that involves the loss of someone/something. It isn't the seperation of the title into two events, it's one event.
But that event provoked the character into the decision. If the mom hadn't died, there would have been no reason for the character to start beyblading again. Due to the loss of the mother, it makes the character want to find his father, and therefore start beyblading again. So the loss causes a decision and it fits the theme, right?
Then the theme would be called:

The Loss and Decision.

The loss doesn't cause any decision.

The decision decides the loss.
Well, what I meant by "A decisive loss" was a loss that decides something. Or vice-versa.

Sorry if that was unclear.
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:24 AM)Sparta Wrote: [ -> ]Well, what I meant by "A decisive loss" was a loss that decides something. Or vice-versa.

Sorry if that was unclear.
Incredibly since it can't mean vice-versa.
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:26 AM)ControL_ Wrote: [ -> ]
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:24 AM)Sparta Wrote: [ -> ]Well, what I meant by "A decisive loss" was a loss that decides something. Or vice-versa.

Sorry if that was unclear.
Incredibly since it can't mean vice-versa.

Ugh, fine you want me to start it all over? Seriously, just let it go!
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:30 AM)Sparta Wrote: [ -> ]
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:26 AM)ControL_ Wrote: [ -> ]
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:24 AM)Sparta Wrote: [ -> ]Well, what I meant by "A decisive loss" was a loss that decides something. Or vice-versa.

Sorry if that was unclear.
Incredibly since it can't mean vice-versa.

Ugh, fine you want me to start it all over? Seriously, just let it go!
I believe there's nothing to start over. I already let go in a PM, you said something yourself.
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:35 AM)ControL_ Wrote: [ -> ]
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:30 AM)Sparta Wrote: [ -> ]
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:26 AM)ControL_ Wrote: [ -> ]
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:24 AM)Sparta Wrote: [ -> ]Well, what I meant by "A decisive loss" was a loss that decides something. Or vice-versa.

Sorry if that was unclear.
Incredibly since it can't mean vice-versa.

Ugh, fine you want me to start it all over? Seriously, just let it go!
I believe there's nothing to start over. I already let go in a PM, you said something yourself.

Ugh, sorry. I'm very stressed and very tired. Sorry. Anyways, update on scores:

Entry 1: 1
Entry 2: 2
I voted for entry one earlier on, but I guess it was hard to see since it was at the end of a somewhat long post.
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:45 AM)SwiftShadow Wrote: [ -> ]I voted for entry one earlier on, but I guess it was hard to see since it was at the end of a somewhat long post.

Alright, edited. I'll put the tally in the OP.
I do believe the score is

Entry 1: 1 (SwiftShadow)
Entry 2: 2 (ControL_s SouL_ and Anubis)
(Aug. 02, 2011  2:48 AM)NoodooSoup Wrote: [ -> ]I do believe the score is

Entry 1: 1 (SwiftShadow)
Entry 2: 2 (ControL_s SouL_ and Anubis)

Oh. Wow, I'm really loosing it. Need to sleep.

I'll change the score...
Read Entry 1 fully, and Entry 2's first paragraph...

Entry 2 has masses of descriptive words, and has perfect layout, it shows paragraphs clearly, and has more excitement...

Entry 1 lacks description, and formatted paragraphs, and most importantly a catchy start...

due to the enthusiasm and descriptive words of Entry 2, my vote goes to Entry 2, as it catches your attention and makes you want to read on...
Entry 2, though I like that horrible food in entry 1.......

I didn't see any beyblades involved in it, However.
Please can we get the votes in?

I just want to get this whole Writing Battle Tournament done before the Summer break ends.
Entry two gets it here. Both are pretty good, but two actually makes you care. It's kinda like it's more than a story, unlike Entry one. I know Entry One did their best, though. Congrats on making it this far, but I believe that's vote #5 for Entry 2.