May. 25, 2011 1:32 AM
hey guys this is a new story i am writing i hope you like it
Chapter 1
The air smelled of rotting flesh and blood. We were in war, and as I lay in turning on the cold hard mattress I think of my wife who I left behind 6 months ago to go to war with the king.
I tried to get some sleep knowing that tomorrow me and my battalion would have to fight for our lives until reinforcement arrived. But alas I could not sleep. So I decided to take a walk through camp. I stared at the sleeping men wondering if I would ever see them again. “Do not worry they are good and strong men they will survive “said a mysterious voice. I turned around to see my best friend Caleb. He was a tall muscular man with tan skin and hazel eyes. “I know Caleb†I replied. “You should get some sleep†Caleb said. I nodded my head and went back to my tent and fell asleep.
The sunlight shined on my face and I woke up. I realized that I had sleep in. I went out of my tent and asked what was going on. The solider said “the enemy is closing in to our position we are preparing for battle generalâ€. I nodded and grabbed my sword. It was black hieroglyphs on the handle to keep my power controlled. I then started day dreaming about when I was young and there was an accident when I was young and the powers of a demon were transferred to me. For a while after that I was treated as a monster even by own parents they would abuse me and hit me leaving scars and bruise. Until one day I snapped and lost control and killed them. Then the king took me in. he was the only one who treated me nice him and his son Caleb. I snapped out of my flash back and prepared for battle. After I was prepared I gathered I the tropes and headed out to meet the enemy. We met them at the canyon of death. The general of the apposing army said†give up before we kill youâ€
I shouted with all my heart “ NEVERâ€. with that I attacked and slash the generals head off. A solider from the apposing army lunged and killed one of my most trusted men. As I saw his head roll to the floor I just exploded in anger and went on a rampage I attacked and slashed and killed any one brave enough to stand in my way and as I saw my on solider falling to the ground motionless and there hot sticky blood splashing on me I could not help but thinking this isn’t war its hell.
plz tell me what you think and anything I can improve in.
Spoiler (Click to View)
Chapter 1
The air smelled of rotting flesh and blood. We were in war, and as I lay in turning on the cold hard mattress I think of my wife who I left behind 6 months ago to go to war with the king.
I tried to get some sleep knowing that tomorrow me and my battalion would have to fight for our lives until reinforcement arrived. But alas I could not sleep. So I decided to take a walk through camp. I stared at the sleeping men wondering if I would ever see them again. “Do not worry they are good and strong men they will survive “said a mysterious voice. I turned around to see my best friend Caleb. He was a tall muscular man with tan skin and hazel eyes. “I know Caleb†I replied. “You should get some sleep†Caleb said. I nodded my head and went back to my tent and fell asleep.
The sunlight shined on my face and I woke up. I realized that I had sleep in. I went out of my tent and asked what was going on. The solider said “the enemy is closing in to our position we are preparing for battle generalâ€. I nodded and grabbed my sword. It was black hieroglyphs on the handle to keep my power controlled. I then started day dreaming about when I was young and there was an accident when I was young and the powers of a demon were transferred to me. For a while after that I was treated as a monster even by own parents they would abuse me and hit me leaving scars and bruise. Until one day I snapped and lost control and killed them. Then the king took me in. he was the only one who treated me nice him and his son Caleb. I snapped out of my flash back and prepared for battle. After I was prepared I gathered I the tropes and headed out to meet the enemy. We met them at the canyon of death. The general of the apposing army said†give up before we kill youâ€
I shouted with all my heart “ NEVERâ€. with that I attacked and slash the generals head off. A solider from the apposing army lunged and killed one of my most trusted men. As I saw his head roll to the floor I just exploded in anger and went on a rampage I attacked and slashed and killed any one brave enough to stand in my way and as I saw my on solider falling to the ground motionless and there hot sticky blood splashing on me I could not help but thinking this isn’t war its hell.
plz tell me what you think and anything I can improve in.