I will type the first part of this story after school.
OK, I finally got part one done. Here I go!
I leaped for the bush. I heard the scream of a girl. Then I saw him. He was a scrawny man, but he had deadly accuracy with knives. He was a bandit, well known in the village. His name was Pūma, the second in command of the Burēzu. He was holding a knife to the throat of Hana, the most beautiful girl in the village. "Come out On'na! If you don't, say goodbye to pretty little Hana! Don't think I won't do it! After all, you've helplessly watched me do it before," said Pūma, obviously knowing I was near.
I left my cover, and I barely dodged one of PÅ«ma's knives. Then I entered one. A Seishin JÅtai. Everything slowed down except me, and I was fast without it. I drew my sword, and before I knew it PÅ«ma was headless. When time went back to normal, Hana was in my arms. She only said one thing;"Who are you?".
"My name is On'na ttarashi."
I may be taking character requests. Depends on how well received this is and what pops into my head. I might get Sparta to Co-Write this. Go to his Co-Writing Service thread. He is awesome sauce!
(May. 20, 2011 10:02 PM)Titan Blader Wrote: [ -> ]I may be taking character requests. Depends on how well received this is and what pops into my head. I might get Sparta to Co-Write this. Go to his Co-Writing Service thread. He is awesome sauce!
Why thank you
And I gladly accept the position of your co-writer.
One suggestion: Your writing tends to be a bit choppy. Describe things, and use words to bounce off of topics, making your story flow better. Compare these sentences:
1. I ran towards him. He had a knife. He shot it at me.
2. I sprinted towards him, tears streaming down my face. Realizing this was my only chance, I leaped at him...only to find he had a knife at his side. with a quick slight of hand, the kitchen knife had become a projectile, screaming towards me.
Sorry, both of those were bad. Anyways, this seems like an interesting story idea...
Yeah, I was just rushed. I didn't want the idea to leave my head. I'll PM you the plot.
Any comments? I will be taking 2 characters. They will both have to be in the bandit group. I would like the names to be the names of animals and such. Then I will translate it into Japanese.
Name: Cyclone
Personality: His gun shoots so fast it chages the wind patterns. Unbelievable accuracy with his sniper
(May. 21, 2011 7:40 AM)sonicsora123 Wrote: [ -> ]Name: Cyclone
Personality: His gun shoots so fast it chages the wind patterns. Unbelievable accuracy with his sniper
The thing is, there weren't guns back when this takes place. Bow and arrow maybe?
Can I make a character? Is that OK?
Name: 'Rabbit' Nightly.
Weapon: knife
Characteristics: Usually not very talkative or social, but is small and fast like a rabbit. Hence the name.
Clothing/physical appearance: Sandy brown hair, green eyes, short, and I'm not sure what clothing timeline this is so the attire is up to you.
name: Excalibur
weapon:a sword
characteristics: heard of excalibur from soul eater? he is EXACTLY like him
clothing: white robe,gold belt,gold slippers.has yellow hair,and he is a boy
Here's the next chapter TB asked me to upload.
My name is On'na ttarashi. I am a swordsman from KÅfÅ«, the town of the light wind. From birth, my family knew I was gifted by the gods. I have the ability to control all the Seishin JÅtai, which are powers that are activated by a strong sense of certain emotions. I had just used was the Seishin JÅtai of Love, and though I'm still learning how to control these, according to Master Sanshouuo, I'm the only man that can control them all. Some other people can use some of them, and there is a master for each one. I was just attacked by PÅ«ma, a user of Pride. When I killed him, I suddenly felt stronger, but weaker at the same time. I have other things to worry about right now. I'm still being hunted by two members of BurÄ“zu, and these two have more of a bone to pick with me than PÅ«ma did.
can i make a charcter
name:taka(eagle in english)
clothes:he wears a black short sleve shirt with his right arm covered in bandages. with black pants and black shoes.
gender:boy
also he is a master swordsman whos accuraccy is unpresidented
Well, I've decided to use this in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)! Pretty much, in the month of November, I'm going to make this into a 50,000 word novel! I may go insane, but getting an actual copy of my novel will be worth it! I believe that I also get the option to have it sold on Amazon! So yeah, wish me luck!