The burning in Stevens eyes became unbearable as the casket of his late older sister, Amber slowly entered her final resting place. His eyelids became heavy as the small drops of water fell from his eyes onto his cheeks. as everyone began to slowly take their leave muttering their last goodbyes, steven was frozen in place. His caretaker and mentor had just left him alone just like his mother did. He gripped his Earth Bull in his right blazer coat pocket until his knuckles became white with tension. He looked back and saw Amber's best friend Nick, standing their with a handkerchief pressed under his right eye. "come on Steven, you cant just stand their all day" nick muttered between sobs. Steven blankly stared and nodded his head accepting the fact he cannot be with his sister any longer for that day but stuffing the fact of forever lost in the back of his mind. he walked through the moist grass giving one last thank you to the priest and then reaching into his left coat pocket grabbing onto ambers pride and joy, Storm eagle. he slowly pulled the lone bey out of his pocket. the sun reflecting off its metal ring, he felt its spirit being slowly drained by the loss of its partner. knowing the bey couldnt go on, Steven gave the bey one last look and flicked it onto his sisters casket. it spun for a few seconds then slowly rocked to a stop on the center of the casket, the suns reflection still reflecting off the beys thin ring. steven turned and started towards nick's car parked on the closest space by the grave yard. nick femininely blew his nose as he opened his car door. Steven threw the door open and carelessly plopped himself into the passenger seat. nick followed behind easily setting himself in and grabbed the steering wheel. "deep breaths kid-o" Nick said as he dramatically followed his own advice. Steven closed his eyes as nicks lungs dramatically filled with air. Steven Thought to himself "she was the greatest female blader in the U.S but, now shes gone" he shivered as the thought traced his mind like an artists pencil as he begins a new peice of work. "she left me with a place to live and some money, but i will never have her wise words again". as he thought that final thought, he remembered a thought that made his eyes widen with reality. he leaned over to nick as he began to pull out of the lot and said with despair "nick, i still have bey blast qualifiers tommorow, dont i?" Nick nodded with reassurance. "dont worry though, you still have all your ability remember" nick said flamboyantly as he gingerly steered us out onto the main roads back towards our large chicago apartment suite that my sister left me in her will before she passed. a short time of akward quietness filled the car and nick finally broke the silence by saying "your sister may be gone but she trained you well, your Amber Koles little brother so you must continue her legacy as Americas best blader okay?" i was quite for a few seconds but nick made me answer by sternly asking again "OKAY!!?" i slowly nodded my head as i reached back into my pocket as i grabbed earth bull. as i stared at his orange glow, i felt a surge of compassion come into the palm he rested in. i knew he felt sorry for what happened to me but he also gave me a surge of sterness, letting me know we have to win tommorow at all costs. my sisters legacy depends on me.
hmm,good story,but allot of grammar mistakes
Nice story man,I like your topic.But like gigablader98 said,there were a lot of grammar mistakes.But good try anyway.
lol grammars no big its just a quick online story haha. as long as the stories good i dont care about the grammar
Steven Rolled onto his right side, looking outward to his dark room. Tired but unable to sleep, he swung himself upright in his bed staring into the blackness of his T.V screen. "Lights on: Low" he muttered and the lights in his room slowly dimmed to a low light. He reached for his phone and slide the keyboard out to see the time. "4:27...hmm only 3 more hours until i have to get up anyway". He slowly spun out of the comfort of his bed and stepped on the chilly wood floor. he walked to his computer desk and powered on his laptop. As he patiently waited he touched his hands to the floor, trying to shake the ache out of his bones and muscles but felt the exhaustion of his body claw at his whole being. "its only been a day, but it feels like an eternity Amber". he looked to the photo of his sister accepting the Top Blader Plaque after winning WBBA Best Blader championships, and him next to her with the top blader under 18 plaque with his arm around his sister. "we were the best, and this year i was going to beat you". Being only 17 Steven was the best blader in the U.S that wasnt a legal adult, but due to his dominance over the 18 and under tournaments he was approved to battle as an adult. After slowly coming out of his stretch, Steven saw his computer was fully booted. Before he could sit the intercom that ran through his sisters entire house cut on. Nicks voice rang through his room tiredly as he spoke "Steven, i can hear your awake, do you want me to start breakfast"? Steven thought for a brief second and stated "I should probably eat since the tournament is today, but im not hungry at all". nick replied with a sassy "Waffles it is then, Ciao". the intercom clicked off and steven grinned out the side of his mouth. right as he opened his email he saw that his confirmation email had come, he was all set to battle at bey blast. he looked to his Earth Bull 100 WD with determination. Its metal bull face glinted as in approval, the battle of Their careers was happening in 9 hours.
its a good story, but, it does have grammer problems, type in word the copy paste here, may i have character requests
Name: Izuma Inzori
BeyBlade: Silent Samurai MKCH85 WRHF
BeyBlade description:
Face: A shuriken in the middle, between two kantanas and the writing SAMURAI for Silent Samurai and NINJA for Silent Ninja (color: all decals black on silver background)
Silent: think of Lightning with the multi hit mode (renamed Rapid Strike mode) as thick shurikens, and upper mode (renamed Slice mode) as a kantana (color: un-painted)
Samurai: think of Kerbecs + L-Drago I with the 'rings' as shurikens and the dragon heads as kantanas (color; silver)
MKCH85: Metal Kantana Change Height 8.5mm – 11.0mm, 4 metal kantanas surrounding a CH85 (color: translucent silver for the plastic, un-painted metal for the “bladesâ€)
WRHF/RWD: Wide Rubber Hole Flat
Super Attacks:
Level 1: “Silent death,†Silent Samurai disappears and hits opponent with a million kunai and shuriken and kantanas
Level 2: “100 Slices of The Samurais’’,†the Metal Shuriken shell on MSBSCH85 swells and smashes the opponent’s bey 100 times, on the 99th time, Silent Ninja halts and circles the stadium 10 times, cheating a black hurricane that flips the opposing bey out of the stadium with a insanely powerful smash from Silent Samurai.
Level 3: N/A
Level X: “Infinite Blade†Samurai appears and slices at the opponent’s bey with such speed and power that the opposing bey instantly stops and flies out of the stadium 10 meters away, breaking it in half. (Last resort, can only be used three times in a year!)
BeyBlade Type: Legendary
Spin Direction: Left
Character bio:
Gender: Male
Clothes: Black Kevlar T-shirt and jeans and silver Kevlar cloak with black flames. (cloak is based on Minato from NARUTO)
Black hair, Chinese origin, oldest of 4 children
Caries twin Kantanas everywhere.
Team rank: Leader
Attitude: helpful and cool, he has to keep a critical eye on his twin sister, Sonai so that she doesn’t go out of control with her short temper, his classmates (except for Sonai) are jealous of him. When he promises something, you can guarantee that he will keep his promise unless it has anything to do with murder or theft. Keeps his younger brothers in line every day so that they don’t drive Sonai crazy.
Age: 17 years as of February 27, 2011
Name: Sonai Inzori
BeyBlade: Hydro Narwhale XDFCH110 PD
Type: Stamina
BeyBlade description:
Face: For both Narwhales, two narwhales next to each other with a wave and the writing Narwhale on the bottom. (Color: the narwhales: sliver, the wave: light blue, the writing: silver, the background: medium dark blue)
Hydro: imagine the Pre-HWS Virgo except the lobes are wave like. (Un-colored)
(Clear wheel) Narwhale: two Narwhales in a circle. (Translucent blue)
XDFCH110: eXtreme Down Force Change Height 11.0mm- 13.5mm, basically a CH110 with the external shell as a super wide DF that works in both spin directions. (Translucent blue)
Super Attacks:
Level 1: “ Hydro Turbo Boostâ€: Narwhale creates a water typhoon complimenting its team members spin or itself spin, thus increasing the bey affected by the water typhoon spin velocity.
Level 2: “Hydro Cannonâ€: Narwhale creates a huge water typhoon in the playing area and sends it at the opponent’s bey, sending it flying repeatedly so that Narwhale’s extreme stamina can be used to outlast the opponent’s bey.
Level 3: “Flying Hydro Narwhale Cannonâ€: Hydro Narwhale hovers in the air because on XDFCH110 and creates a water Narwhale to ram the opponent’s bey.
Level X: “Hydro Hornâ€: Narwhale appears and creates a high pressure water jet in the shape of a Narwhale’s horn and Stabs the opponent’s bey breaking it in half, or KOing it instantly.
Spin Direction: L/R
Character bio:
Gender: Female
Clothes: wears basically the same as all the Inzori except that her cloak is blue with silver flames.
Caries a special Touch Screen Repair Computer, TSRC, and tools for bey repairs
Rank in Team: repairer. (Technician)
Black hair, Chinese origin, and 2nd oldest of 4 children
Attitude: very reckless, and has a short temper, her twin brother, Izuma, does all that he can do to make sure she doesn’t go out of control with her rage and short temper doesn’t get the worst of her, her classmates (except for Izuma) are jealous of her. When she promises something, you can guarantee that she will keep her promise unless it has anything to do with murder or theft. She can get very angry with her 2 younger brothers, she respects Inzori as the greatest beyblader of all time
She is Izuma’s twin sister
Age: 17 as of February 27, 2011
Name: Hatachi Inzori
BeyBlade: Electric Berserker BXBCH135 LRF
Beyblade type: Attack
BeyBlade Discription:
Face: A sword with electricity coming out of it and the writing BERSERKER on the bottom. (Color: the sword: Silver, everything else: yellow on a black background)
Electric: Looks like a metal wheel with 4 lengthened protrusions in the shape of thunderbolts. (Slightly overhangs the track like Rock does (color: silver))
Berserker: 4 very large swords in a circle. (Color: translucent light yellow)
BXBCH135: Bending eXtreme Blades Change Height 13.5mm – 16.0mm, basically a CH___ with 4 large Blades that can bend at Hatachi’s command during battle.
Super attacks:
Level 1: “Static Shieldâ€: a shield of electricity that causes the opponent’s bey to gain static electricity and stick to other unwanted friction causing things.
Level 2: “Lightning Horn Rampâ€: a Horn with a smooth slope made of electricity rams the opponent bey and “slopes†it out of the stadium if it hits.
Level 3: “Electric Blade Typhoonâ€: a electric typhoon with electric Berserker Blades popping out every where to hit the opposing bey.
Level X: “Electric Berserker Bladeâ€: Electric Berserker’s version of Samurai’s Infinite Blade except that the sword is made of electricity.
Spin direction: Left
Character bio:
Gender: male
Clothes: wears basically the same as all the Inzori except that his cloak is black with yellow thunderbolts, and wears repair goggles.
Black hair, Chinese origin, and 3rd of 4 children
Carries a special touch screen analyzer computer that can scan beys and create strategies according to the opponent’s bey parts and battle strategies for each of the team’s members
Team rank: Tactician
Attitude: a Bey strategist, caring and intelligent.
Age: 14 years old as of March 8, 2011
Name: Rez Inzori
Beyblade: Magma Saurian XGBCH160 RDS
BeyBlade Description:
Face: T-Rex head with Magma trickling down the side and the writing SAURIAN on the bottom for Magma Saurian. (Color: Brown T-Rex head, red magma, & gold SAURIAN)
Magma: Metal version of Heat with rubber in the gaps. (Rubber: red, metal: un-colored)
Saurian: ripples of lava in a circle. (Color: translucent red)
XGBCH160: eXtreme Gravity Bowl Change Height 16.0mm – 18.5mm, cross of CH___ and GB145, 4 metal balls on the shell of CH___, the plastic is arranged in a 4 pronged star.
RDS: Rubber Defense Sharp, a DS made of rubber (Color: red rubber and translucent red for the plastic parts)
Super attacks:
Level 1: “Lava Shieldâ€: Saurian creates a wall of Lava around it to protect it from attacks.
Level 2: “Lava Wipeoutâ€: Saurian creates a wave of lava to cover its opponents.
Level X: “Volcano Graveâ€: Saurian suddenly starts circling the stadium and creates a miniature un-erupted volcano in the middle of the stadium, then when the opponent’s bey is in the volcano’s crater, the volcano explodes, sending the opponent’s bey flying.
Character bio:
Gender: male
Clothes: wears basically the same as all the Inzori except that his cloak is silver with red flames.
Black hair, Chinese origin, and the youngest of 4 children
Team rank: Attack absorber (the shield)
Attitude: very humorous, liked by everyone.
List of team attacks:
“Lava/Lightning Trap Grindâ€: Electric Berserker & Magma Saurian: (possibly the silliest tag-team attack ever) Saurian makes a wall of lava in the shape of [and Berserker creates a wall that looks like], then they trap the opposing beys in between the two walls like this[], then make the wall look like ll, thus creating friction to halt the trapped beys to a complete stop
“Hydro Shockâ€: Hydro Narwhale & Electric Berserker: Team attack with Hydro Narwhale: First, Narwhale soaks the opposing beys with water, then Berserker zaps them, after that, Narwhale creates a water typhoon that Berserker charges with electricity.
“Rock Strikeâ€: Hydro Narwhale & Magma Saurian: Narwhale fills the stadium with at the same time, Saurian releases a flow of lava, trapping the opposing beys in rock, defenseless against a water/magma spear strike.
“Hydro Kantana Blitzâ€: Silent Samurai & Hydro Narwhale: Narwhale lifts Samurai, Samurai creates a kantana and Narwhale adds high pressure water jets to it, they attack together, while Samurai slices with the kantana, narwhale flips and uses water jets to grind the opponent’s clear wheel, and increase its spin velocity, causing the opponent’s bey to completely stop by Narwhale’s grind or get KOed by Samurai’s attack
Team attack 2: “Electric Kantana Diveâ€: Silent Samurai & Electric Berserker: Berserker goes around Samurai as a shield while circling the stadium (like the moon is Berserker, earth is Samurai and the centre of the stadium id the sun) and then Samurai shoots up in the sky, descending with Samurai spinning a kantana charged with lightning and Berserker keeping the opponent bey in one spot by surrounding it with a electric fence
Team attack 3: “Magma Kantana Diveâ€: Silent Samurai & Magma Saurian: Refer to “Electric Kantana Dive†team attack with Berserker’s parts replaced by Saurian
Team attack X: “Inzori Finaleâ€: Team attack involving all the Team members: first, Narwhale soaks all the opponent beys, next Berserker zaps all of them, while the opponents are distracted by Narwhale and Berserkers team attack, then Narwhale fills the stadium with water at the same time, Saurian releases a flow of lava, trapping the opponent beys in Rock, allowing the entire team the time to do “Infinite Magma Hydro Electric Kantana Attack†without any opposition.
Dude this story is epic! Continue it and finish it!
EDIT: Also add me as a charecter. Name: Rafael Martinez
Bey: Rock ScorpioT125JB
Steven opened his eyes and rubbed them as he began to realize that his destination was reached. The limo smoothly drove along the busy city street as he saw the tournament stadium just down the road. The Stadium was huge and the line outside for tickets went as far as the eye can see. He lowered the window of the taxi and looked onto the hopeful spectators. A young boy noticed him sticking his head out the window and yelled "LOOK! ITS STEVEN KOLE!" as people shifted their heads, the huge crowd began to yell and wave. Steven waved to the crowd and noticed that some people were wearing "rest in peace the queen" shirts to honor his sister. A smile slowly sprouted on his face as he knew the crowd was behind him. As Steven sat down Nick, sitting across from him says "they're all here for you so dont let them down kid-o". Steven nodded his head and said "I may be young but im still a champion, i will give anyone who stands in my way hell, and a little more". The limo drove to the back of the stadium, where the competitors signed in and were appointed there locker room. He passed many of the competitors of the tournament, who were all top ranked in the country they came from. He knew most of them due to the fact that his older sister beat all of them multiple times. They all apologized about his loss but he could tell that they were happy they had a chance to win this tournament. but there were 2 new bladers that caught his eye. one was Josh Toll, an american blader from california that came in second place in the under 18 International championship the year before so Steven of course said hello and shook his hand. They were the top two youngest bladers out of america so they practiced alot together and were semi close friends. The other one was a hispanic man about 20 with a pureness to him, Steven had never seen him before so he gave him a small nod when passing him by. The hispanic man saw Steven's nod and rushed to him. He grabbed Steven's hand and shook it with excitement. He spoke with a thick mexican accent as he feverishly spoke to Steven. "Oh it is a pleasure to meet you Senor Kole, I am sooo sorry for your loss". Steven smiled at the energy the man carried and thanked him for his concern. "My name is Armando Leyva, The best blader of mexico and 11th best blader in north america". Steven greeted the man as a friend. Being use to the fact of people knowing who he was but him not know them but, it did surprise him that a top blader from another country was so star struck to meet him. Knowing he had to focus, he ignored the suspicious thought. Nick led the way to Steven's locker room, knowing how the tournaments work like the back of his hand. Since he was the manager of the best blader in the world, he knew how nervous Steven must have been to just be thrown into a competition of this calibur. Steven reached into his back pack he carried to tournaments and looked over his launcher and blade. One of his biggest problems as a blader is the fact that he was stubborn. His blade Earth Bull 100 WD was a fantastic blade but some of the parts were outclassed. His sister constantly pounded on him about it but he never listened. This time was different though, he wasnt here to blade for just himself. He had to win for his sister so he did what he had to do. He took out his blade wrench and dismantled his blade. He took his 100 track and WD tip off his blade and reached into his bag once more. He slowly pulled out a pink beyblade part case with the name "Amber K." written on the top. He rubbed the top of the case slowly as he thought of all those nights his sister stayed up all night just trying combinations with her blade case clutched in her arms. He shook his head to refocus and pulled out what he knew he needed. He assembled the blade together slowly and looked to his newly revamped friend, Earth Bull AD145 CS. His bull released a surge of power into his hand, it was more powerful than ever.
nice man im not trying to spam or anything but ur doing a deffence combo right? well ad145 isnt good for deffence combos u should have done lik 230 or somthing along with tht but great anyways cant wait to see wats next
its suppose to be like the anime so the actual part has a gimmick lol
ohhhhh i c now haha well then its good