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I haven't posted any poetry on here in a while. I haven't been writing much. Well... Here's something new I guess.


"Into the Storm"

The pool's depths are again murky and dark
But the surface remains as smooth as glass
As I board the arc and once more embark
On a journey through the weight of my past

And as I gently put the paddle to sea
Haunting memories in black ink swirl below;
Shimmering in the water like algae
Being tossed about in the ebb and flow

Of time as it passed while I was adrift
In the void I had fostered within my mind
Waiting for the day when the tides would shift
And I would awaken inside myself to find

If I am to ever discover my form
I must sail without fear into the storm
That is splendid, I love that poem/amazing loved it.
IMO, this one was easier to understand, I gleaned some meaning from it much more quickly than I usually do with your poetry. It's still amazing as always. I'm somewhat reminded of the end of Harry Potter 6... But this also reminds me of a dark, true narrative I wrote a few months ago and got a 96 on.
(Mar. 12, 2011  6:31 AM)GaHooleone Wrote: [ -> ]I'm somewhat reminded of the end of Harry Potter 6...

It's kind of funny to me that you picked up on this. I took a lot of inspiration from that scene in the book. Basically what I wanted to do was to take that concept of sailing on a glassy, calm surface where everything seems too perfect to be true, and apply a more personal, dark narrative to it about my struggle with depression.
(Mar. 12, 2011  6:34 AM)Roan Wrote: [ -> ]
(Mar. 12, 2011  6:31 AM)GaHooleone Wrote: [ -> ]I'm somewhat reminded of the end of Harry Potter 6...

It's kind of funny to me that you picked up on this. I took a lot of inspiration from that scene in the book. Basically what I wanted to do was to take that concept of sailing on a glassy, calm surface where everything seems too perfect to be true, and apply a more personal, dark narrative to it about my struggle with depression.

How long have you been struggling? I'm sure you have friends and family who are willing to help, and everyone on here has got your back, I'm sure. And yes, the allusions to that scene were quite nice. Maybe if you had included some metaphor or symbol similar to the Inferi to show your depression crawling up to you as you tried to fight it back in vain?
(Mar. 12, 2011  6:36 AM)GaHooleone Wrote: [ -> ]
(Mar. 12, 2011  6:34 AM)Roan Wrote: [ -> ]
(Mar. 12, 2011  6:31 AM)GaHooleone Wrote: [ -> ]I'm somewhat reminded of the end of Harry Potter 6...

It's kind of funny to me that you picked up on this. I took a lot of inspiration from that scene in the book. Basically what I wanted to do was to take that concept of sailing on a glassy, calm surface where everything seems too perfect to be true, and apply a more personal, dark narrative to it about my struggle with depression.

How long have you been struggling?

Almost ten years now. I'm actually seeking counseling for it right now, but I haven't started yet.

GaHooleone Wrote:Maybe if you had included some metaphor or symbol similar to the Inferi to show your depression crawling up to you as you tried to fight it back in vain?

I did do this, only subtly and with a more positive spin; see the second stanza -- the bits about memories swirling in the water -- that's basically my "Inferi". That is, the things I've gone through in the past keep coming back to haunt me and drag me down.

Basically the message of the poem is that, though things are bad and it feels at times like it's insurmountable, the only way to get better and to come out on the other side of it all is to face it head on.
And hence the reason why you used the lake metaphor.... Oh, okay I see. Well, it really does have a very deep, very good meaning to it, and I hope you do recover. I kinda have to go to bed now (almost midnight on LI), but I truly appreciate the poetry you write and post on the WBO. I'm sure my English 10H teacher would be very proud of you right now if he knew who you were. Tongue_out But in all seriousness, that was a very good read+analysis. I enjoyed the discussion very much.
No problem! I'm glad someone else gets something out of it. A lot of times I post things and they just get buried under all of the other fanfics and sig requests and stuff like that.