I know that i have left many stories unfinished but I promise that I will finish this story
The story is in first person
The main characters name will not be revealed untill later in the story
I am accepting characters BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVEN'T BEEN USED.
PLEASE COMMENT I like feedback so i can improve my story.
CHAPTER 1 PART1
The bey ripped right through me I remember feeling intense pain it was my only thought I only wanted to die so that the pain would stop and then everything went black.....
let me start from the beginning
I was an orphan in coma village my parents had just disappeared one day when I was two. In the orphanage I wasn't very popular I only had one friend and her name was Rem she always supported me no mater what. Once we were watching TV we saw it, Beyblade. "What is that?" I asked Rem when we were 9. "thats beyblade you've never heard of it?" she replied. "No" I said. "Just watch" she said. I did. I was amazed I watched a famous blader named Seth battle his way to the top with his bey infinity Horogium 125S Every day that a tournament was on I would be there to watch it.
One day Rem was adopted by woman named Serena Amadai, ad I was left alone. until one day a woman named Aura Hagane great grandaughter of the famous Ginkga Hagane came to the orphanage . Everyone rushed and crowded her begging her to pick one of them, while I sat on the stairs watching.
The woman smiled asking everyone to bake off. then she came up to me he had flowing red hair and warm golden brown eyes "Hi" she said "whats your name mines Aura" she continued. "I prefer not to tell people what my name is" I replied. Then without another word she walked towards the office. Everyone practically didn't breath as they waited. But I just sat there not expecting her to pick me. When she came out she gestured to me "come on we have to go" she said with a smile.
"What" said completely surprised. I got up and walked toward her. When we got to her house she came up to me and said "I knew you were just perfect when i saw you" I was confused "perfect for what?" I asked "To be the next phoenix, you know what beyblade is right." she asked "Yeah I do." I replied." "what would you say to getting one of the most powerful beys in history?" she asked. "Id say yes" I replied.
"You'll need some training" She said, and she handed me a bey. (like this fakish ones commonly used in beyblade metal fusion.) So she trained me. Over the years I learned skills such as perfect aim. Awesome control. Launch power and everything else. By the time I became 15 I was done. It took me 6 years to complete my training. and on my 15th birthday she gave it to me. It was a bey, Hell Fireblaze ED145MS. "LET IT RIP!" I yelled as I launched the bey. As soon as I launched it it burst into flame but is still stayed perfectly intact. "That is fireblaze's burn ability it allows him to create searing hot flames to increase the intensity of his attacks he also has a special move raging phoenix storm. "I also had another gift for you" she Said pointing to a box. "Over there" I went over to open it and inside was a mask and blonde wig. The mask of the legendary Phoenix, Ryusei Hagane.
End of chapter 1
HERES CHAPTER 1 PART 2
I looked at the mask for a long time. "What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked. "I want you to wear it." Aura replied as if she expected me to know. "Why?" I asked. "I want you to become the next phoenix so that you can enter this years battle bladers tournament thats what Ive been training you for, there's something very important for you there when you win." she replied. She handed me a pack full of supplies. "here take this theres some money in there and a map, I also packed a supply of food" she said. "Oh and take these" she said handing me a long red coat a black sweater and a pare of black pants. "Thanks i guess" I said. I got dressed quickly and left after saying goodbye. once I got to the cliff overlooking the village I saw it, a girl was standing on the mountain top with a bey and launcher. she launched her bey, it circled around faster and faster until it shot up in the air surrounded by a blue fiery energy, and smashed into the village creating a huge burst of blue energy destroying everything and everyone. I watched as everyone died I wanted to cry but instead I ran I put on my mask I didn't want to be recognized. I hiked for days. After about a week I ended up in newblade city one of the biggest beyblading cities in the world. When i got there I met something horrible everywhere people sat in the streets the buildings were covered in screens supporting the dark nebula organization. The people looked sick and miserable. I was walking while people stared at me. Thats when I ran into some guys with grey uniforms. They were armed with a bey and launcher. The leader stood in the front giving some kind of speech to his men. "Excuse me!" I yelled to the man who seemed to be in charge. The men all looked at me in surprise. " Who do you think you are talking to me your just a class D citizen. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "You aren't allowed to talk to the authorities unless your a B class citizen", he barked. " Then he looked down at my belt where I kept my bey. "Is that a bey!!, D class citizens aren't allowed to have beys either now hand it over!" he yelled holding his hand out. "NO" I yelled attaching my Hell fireblaze to my launcher. Without a word the other man pulled out his bey. It was a rock eagle T125WD. 3......2......1 "LET IT RIP" we both yelled launching our beys. "Burn fireblaze" I commanded and my bey burst into flame. Fireblaze moved swiftly towards rock eagle trailing flames as they collided the intensity of the flame increased knocking eagle off balance. But then he used his special move " Tornado wing strike!" He yelled Eagle disappeared into the sky then came crashing down as a powerful tornado. (dang) I thought to myself I knew that there was no way to survive another attack like that. My fireblaze began to wobble so i decided to use one of the 2 special moves I already knew. "Explosive wave" I yelled out. on command Fireblaze exploded with a burst of fiery energy that created a column of fire so high it disappeared into the sky. It was so powerful it shook the ground and b lew rock eagle straight out of the stadium. Then fireblaze returned to my hand. " I win" I called out to my opponent. "now tell me whats going on!" "Ever since the dark nebula took over this city everyone has been broken up into classes, a class is the upper class that lives in the lap of luxury, B class is an upper middle class that has a good life, C class are poor but they get by, and D class live out on the streets" He said. " Now arrest him!!" he shouted to his men. I ran. But they followed me every single turn I took. The city was like a maze. Then i ran down an alley and reached a dead end. they had cornered me. Thats when she came. She swooped in and attacked the guards she kicked the one on the right in the head sending him to the ground then grabbed the other and kneed him in the gut. Taking advantage of the distraction I kicked one on the knee cap sending him crumpling to the ground and then I saw her face she looked just like Rem " Rem?" I i said confused but then she took out a seringe and injected some kind of sedative into me Then everything went black.....
End of chapter 2
if you are taking charcter requests plz use my charcter
name:kevin hagata
bio:a nice,caring,and protective(of his friends but excepically of his bey he will not even let someone touch it) 12 year old boy who's bey contains a terrifing power(it a good power but it is very terrifying because it is so strong)he wears black jeans,black shirt with a pegasis symbol HE IS A GOOD GUY
bey:shooting star pegasis(the second clear wheel version)aw85r2f
special move:shooting star overdrive
the bey goes around the oppenent in a circle and gets covered in a black energy that has little specks of sliver that looks like stars and the track gets covered in black fire and hits them six times from all sides but on the 6th hit my bey hits the spin track and send them flying upward then pegasis jumps up smashs them down to the ground and then pegasis goes straghit down and the metal wheel and track hits the face bolt
.aw85 stands for attack wings 85 so its pretty much uw145(killer beafowls track) except the track height is lowered and the sides of the have spikes on them also it is made of metal.also the wings on the track come right to the end of the metal wheel and on my command and during my special move the wings get covered with black fire .the metal wheel is pretty much vulcan except each of the wings has 3 slighty curved spikes and in bewteen the spaces of the spikes about 3 millimeters below that space are slighty curved spikes that are set the exact oppsite way.lastly during battle pegasis can swich from left spin to right spin.
beyblade bio:has tremdously super amazing smash attack and aw85 shreds anything that touchs it(except for me and my friends)
sorry ive been having a writers block as soon as I can come up with something Ill keep writing if you want you guys can send in Ideas
That was awsom please make chapter 3
Chapter 3
I woke up in a small room it looked like a small apartment. I appeared to be lying on a couch there was light coming from a desk lamp in the corner. "You alright" said a female voice from a desk in the corner. sitting at the desk holding Hell fireblaze in her hand. She had brown hair and wore a forest camo armey jacket, combat boots, and a black tank top. "This is an interesting bey you have kid" she said. "Hey!" I shouted jumping up. "Give me back my bey!". "Calm down Im just looking" she said with a smile. "Where am I" I asked.
"Your in my apartment in sector C of newbolt city, my name is Anko Wasutori and this is my bey rock Gasher" she said. " Ok well why am I here and why did you save me" I asked "I saw your battle wih that guard your power might beable to help the resistance. but first you have to show me your skills." said Anko. she took me to an elevator we got inside and she pressed the basement floor button. The trip took a few minutes but when we got there the doors opened up into a nasty basement. "Whats down here?" I asked. She didn't answer, instead she walked over to a door and and started feeling the bricks around it. " Here it is she said to herself she pulled out a brick and underneath was a button. She pushed it and the door opened to revial a high-tech room with monitors and computers. "Hey damian" She shouted waving to a man over by a gaint machine. He appeared to be a mechanic of some kind."Whats up Anko" he shouted back. "Im taking this kid here to Training room R-27." she said. "Sure thing" The large man replied. He pushed a button on the machine and a device similar to an elevator came over. "Step inside" she commanded. I didnt respond instead I stepped inside, she followed. The elevator lurched and began moving. "So whats with the mask" She asked. "I have a mission and I dont want me enemey to find out who I am" I replied. "Whats the mission" She asked. I paused for a moment and decided to tell her. "I want to find out who killed my adoptive mother and destroyed my village" I said, befor she could respond the elevator stopped and oppened to reviel a large stadium. This is training room R-27. "She annouced. "Here we will test your skills as a blader through battle you will battle 5 bladers and if you can beat them all you can be one of us." She said. I stood on one side of the stadium waiting for my first opponent.
He came out holding a bey Flame Aries. 3.....2....1...."LET IT RIP!!" we both shouted as we launched our beys "Burn Hell Fireblaze" I shouted and the bey burst into flame and when the beys collided there was a huge explosion (Just like burn fireblaze does on the anime) flame aries shot out of the stadium and burn marks covered the ground where the explosion happened. The next guy came out with his bey cyber aquario. 3..2..1.. "Let It Rip!!" we shouted as we shot our beys. Hell fireblaze burst into flame as cyber aquario attacked fireblaze and the hell fireblaze created another explosion. The intensity of the explosion was so bright that I Had to look away. Bute when I looked to see Aquario was fine it was surrounded in a small swirling sheild of water. (Damn) I thought to myself. knowing my flaming attacks would not beable to affect him. "Special move whirling cyclone" He shouted and then a huge whirlpool ingulfed the stadium with aquario in the center. my bey was shot straight up into the air. (nows my chance Aquario is totaly unprotected in the center of the whirlpool) so I took my chance " Special move!" I comanded " Burning Firestrike" the bey became a huge flaming pheonix and smashed into Aquario creating a large explosion. (for those who havent seen burn fireblaze's special move watch this video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M026disoc4Y)
Aquario was knocked out of the stadium the other blader stared at me in amazment. The next to battles were fairly easy then Anko came to the staduim. "Your my opponent" I said in suprise. "Yup" she resoinded. "Let it Rip!!" we both yelled. " Burn Hell Fireblaze" I yelled and hell fireblaze burst into intense flame. My bey shot towards earth gasher ready to create an explosive attack. " Smart" She said " You know that as long as your bey is using its burn ability it I cant touch it." "Special Move" She commanded. "One ton Claw smash!!" she said The bey becamr a huge crab, and it used Its two huge claws to attemped to smash my bey. "Special move Explosive blast Wave" I yelled my bey created a wave of explosive energy and blew Gasher away before it could even touch my bey. Then for a follow up I unleashed a second special move "Burning Blast" I comanded and My became a pheonix and shot a ball of fire at Gasher whn it hit it exploded shooting gasher straight out of the stadium. "I-I lost" she said as if it was something alien to her. "Kid I guess your in" she said.
This is really good so for hope to see more
Chapter 4
"Im sorry but I cant help you." I said. "But why not these people need you, we need you." Anko responded. "I have a mission to complete and i will finish that first" I responded. Anko seemed to understand. "Ok but just remember that these people are suffering while you waste time so hurry back." she said. I walked over to the elevator and told damian to take me back to the base level. when I got there I took the elevator from the basement to the ground floor. I exited the building and began walking around. It was a sad sight watching these people suffer so I swore to myself that once my mission was complete I would come back. I continued to walk around the city looking for clues about the dark nebula. Thats when I saw it a large screen on top of a tower switched on and on the screen was the face of a man. "Hello everyone" said the man. "I would like to tell you all that there is a man on the run from us, he waers a mask long coat and reddish black sweater, this is a photo of him tacken by one of our many security cams in sector D" I began to panic. Now everyone would be looking for me. " If anyone has any information about this man please say so if anyone can capture this man they will automaticcally be sent up to sector A, oh and if you are watching this whoever you are I hope your ready because we have the best of the best on the lookout for you" the man said with a creepy smile. As if on cue guards jumped out from all over. It was a trap they had made that announcement to distract me. the guards all stppd there beys at the ready. Then a girl came out she appaered to be about 15, of course I already would know that, because I recognized that face instantly. It was Rem. She pulled out her bey and launcher. "Get ready to battle" she yelled over to me. With an unsteady hand I reached for Hell fireblaze and my launcher. I couldnt beleive it The rem I remembered from the orphanage my best friend was my enemy. But when she pulled out her bey I almost fell backwards..... it was galaxy pegasus W105 R2F, the same bey that destroyed Coma village.
End of chapter 4 part 1
sorry about the short post Ill be back with more later today
(Jan. 05, 2011 1:14 PM)phoenix14 Wrote: [ -> ]I know that i have left many stories unfinished but I promise that I will finish this story
The story is in first person
The main characters name will not be revealed untill later in the story
I am accepting characters BUT ONLY IF THEY HAVEN'T BEEN USED.
PLEASE COMMENT I like feedback so i can improve my story.
CHAPTER 1 PART1
The bey ripped right through me I remember feeling intense pain it was my only thought I only wanted to die so that the pain would stop and then everything went black.....
let me start from the beginning
I was an orphan in coma village my parents had just disappeared one day when I was two. In the orphanage I wasn't very popular I only had one friend and her name was Rem she always supported me no mater what. Once we were watching TV we saw it, Beyblade. "What is that?" I asked Rem when we were 9. "thats beyblade you've never heard of it?" she replied. "No" I said. "Just watch" she said. I did. I was amazed I watched a famous blader named Seth battle his way to the top with his bey infinity Horogium 125S Every day that a tournament was on I would be there to watch it.
One day Rem was adopted by woman named Serena Amadai, ad I was left alone. until one day a woman named Aura Hagane great grandaughter of the famous Ginkga Hagane came to the orphanage . Everyone rushed and crowded her begging her to pick one of them, while I sat on the stairs watching.
The woman smiled asking everyone to bake off. then she came up to me he had flowing red hair and warm golden brown eyes "Hi" she said "whats your name mines Aura" she continued. "I prefer not to tell people what my name is" I replied. Then without another word she walked towards the office. Everyone practically didn't breath as they waited. But I just sat there not expecting her to pick me. When she came out she gestured to me "come on we have to go" she said with a smile.
"What" said completely surprised. I got up and walked toward her. When we got to her house she came up to me and said "I knew you were just perfect when i saw you" I was confused "perfect for what?" I asked "To be the next phoenix, you know what beyblade is right." she asked "Yeah I do." I replied." "what would you say to getting one of the most powerful beys in history?" she asked. "Id say yes" I replied.
"You'll need some training" She said, and she handed me a bey. (like this fakish ones commonly used in beyblade metal fusion.) So she trained me. Over the years I learned skills such as perfect aim. Awesome control. Launch power and everything else. By the time I became 15 I was done. It took me 6 years to complete my training. and on my 15th birthday she gave it to me. It was a bey, Hell Fireblaze ED145MS. "LET IT RIP!" I yelled as I launched the bey. As soon as I launched it it burst into flame but is still stayed perfectly intact. "That is fireblaze's burn ability it allows him to create searing hot flames to increase the intensity of his attacks he also has a special move raging phoenix storm. "I also had another gift for you" she Said pointing to a box. "Over there" I went over to open it and inside was a mask and blonde wig. The mask of the legendary Phoenix, Ryusei Hagane.
End of chapter 1
It's a good story. I like it alot BUT WHY DOES EVERYONE STEAL MY STORY BEGINNING IDEA!!!!!
^It's not your story beginning idea. You don't have ownership of it. Many stories start like this, and you weren't the first one either. SO calm down and let him continue to write his story.
Chapter 4 part 2
I readied myself for battle my confusion was placed with rage I wanted to destroy rem for what she had done
3.....2......1....... Let Rip! I yelled as I launched hell fireblaze Burn Hell fireblaze I commanded and fireblaze burst into flame. Go pegasus " yelled Rem" " Special move Stargazer" Pegasus circled faster and faster and shot up into the air. it shot down towards firblaze. I though fast "Explosive blast wave" I yelled an explosion of fiery energy burst from fireblaze the clash of the two beys pheonix and pegasus was intense. Even with the mask I had to look away. Tey were both still spinning. " Go hell fireblaze" I commanded as fireblaze flew accross the stadium. Pegasus dodged all of my attacks. " Burning Firestrike" I yelled and fireblaze shot up into the air and sruck down at pegasus. " Vacuum shield" she yelled and pegasus surrounded itself with a shield of blue energy another burst of light shot out and when I looked back fireblaze had stopped spinning
nice chapter and when will my charcter be in it
I love the story! Can I post a char
sure but i write weekly on this story but i write almost daily on my story beyblade bound by blood its way better than this
youre story is pretty good!
I normally make up beys, but I think I'll just make up a few parts
Character Name: Kyuii( Kee--uu-ee) Mayluu( May-luu)
gender: male
age:15
Looks: neon purple hair with long bangs that cover his left eye. Black button up left open with a purple tee shirt under with the face of his bey, Anubis, in a neon blue on it. Anubis written in a graffiti like font under. Black tight jeans, two silver belts crossed to from an X in the front and back. The belts hold his neon purple launcher grip. Black assembly tool attachment and rubber grip. Neon purple launcher. He wears all black converse, electric blue eyes.
Personality: Quiet, kind, helpful, very talented, strong willed
Bio: Is sort of the strong silent type, but his words are meaningful and well spoken. Enjoys a good bey battle. Was bullied a lot and now stands up for other victims.
Bey: Dusk Anubis SW145 GF.
Made up parts description: Dusk is a wheel divide into two semi circles, one curved up and one curved down. Each has a thick protrusion that runs right through the middle of each semi circle. GF stands for Grip Flat. It is a neon blue color. It has a few spike like Jog Ball, giving it defense and attack capabilities, the reason for the Switch track. Oh and the Switch Track is neon blue with black decals.
Sorry if it was long but I hope you like it