Steven's Story Chapter 1-3 (tell me what you think)

The burning in Stevens eyes became unbearable as the casket of his late older sister, Amber slowly entered her final resting place. His eyelids became heavy as the small drops of water fell from his eyes onto his cheeks. as everyone began to slowly take their leave muttering their last goodbyes, steven was frozen in place. His caretaker and mentor had just left him alone just like his mother did. He gripped his Earth Bull in his right blazer coat pocket until his knuckles became white with tension. He looked back and saw Amber's best friend Nick, standing their with a handkerchief pressed under his right eye. "come on Steven, you cant just stand their all day" nick muttered between sobs. Steven blankly stared and nodded his head accepting the fact he cannot be with his sister any longer for that day but stuffing the fact of forever lost in the back of his mind. he walked through the moist grass giving one last thank you to the priest and then reaching into his left coat pocket grabbing onto ambers pride and joy, Storm eagle. he slowly pulled the lone bey out of his pocket. the sun reflecting off its metal ring, he felt its spirit being slowly drained by the loss of its partner. knowing the bey couldnt go on, Steven gave the bey one last look and flicked it onto his sisters casket. it spun for a few seconds then slowly rocked to a stop on the center of the casket, the suns reflection still reflecting off the beys thin ring. steven turned and started towards nick's car parked on the closest space by the grave yard. nick femininely blew his nose as he opened his car door. Steven threw the door open and carelessly plopped himself into the passenger seat. nick followed behind easily setting himself in and grabbed the steering wheel. "deep breaths kid-o" Nick said as he dramatically followed his own advice. Steven closed his eyes as nicks lungs dramatically filled with air. Steven Thought to himself "she was the greatest female blader in the U.S but, now shes gone" he shivered as the thought traced his mind like an artists pencil as he begins a new peice of work. "she left me with a place to live and some money, but i will never have her wise words again". as he thought that final thought, he remembered a thought that made his eyes widen with reality. he leaned over to nick as he began to pull out of the lot and said with despair "nick, i still have bey blast qualifiers tommorow, dont i?" Nick nodded with reassurance. "dont worry though, you still have all your ability remember" nick said flamboyantly as he gingerly steered us out onto the main roads back towards our large chicago apartment suite that my sister left me in her will before she passed. a short time of akward quietness filled the car and nick finally broke the silence by saying "your sister may be gone but she trained you well, your Amber Koles little brother so you must continue her legacy as Americas best blader okay?" i was quite for a few seconds but nick made me answer by sternly asking again "OKAY!!?" i slowly nodded my head as i reached back into my pocket as i grabbed earth bull. as i stared at his orange glow, i felt a surge of compassion come into the palm he rested in. i knew he felt sorry for what happened to me but he also gave me a surge of sterness, letting me know we have to win tommorow at all costs. my sisters legacy depends on me.
hmm,good story,but allot of grammar mistakes
Nice story man,I like your topic.But like gigablader98 said,there were a lot of grammar mistakes.But good try anyway.
lol grammars no big its just a quick online story haha. as long as the stories good i dont care about the grammar
Steven Rolled onto his right side, looking outward to his dark room. Tired but unable to sleep, he swung himself upright in his bed staring into the blackness of his T.V screen. "Lights on: Low" he muttered and the lights in his room slowly dimmed to a low light. He reached for his phone and slide the keyboard out to see the time. "4:27...hmm only 3 more hours until i have to get up anyway". He slowly spun out of the comfort of his bed and stepped on the chilly wood floor. he walked to his computer desk and powered on his laptop. As he patiently waited he touched his hands to the floor, trying to shake the ache out of his bones and muscles but felt the exhaustion of his body claw at his whole being. "its only been a day, but it feels like an eternity Amber". he looked to the photo of his sister accepting the Top Blader Plaque after winning WBBA Best Blader championships, and him next to her with the top blader under 18 plaque with his arm around his sister. "we were the best, and this year i was going to beat you". Being only 17 Steven was the best blader in the U.S that wasnt a legal adult, but due to his dominance over the 18 and under tournaments he was approved to battle as an adult. After slowly coming out of his stretch, Steven saw his computer was fully booted. Before he could sit the intercom that ran through his sisters entire house cut on. Nicks voice rang through his room tiredly as he spoke "Steven, i can hear your awake, do you want me to start breakfast"? Steven thought for a brief second and stated "I should probably eat since the tournament is today, but im not hungry at all". nick replied with a sassy "Waffles it is then, Ciao". the intercom clicked off and steven grinned out the side of his mouth. right as he opened his email he saw that his confirmation email had come, he was all set to battle at bey blast. he looked to his Earth Bull 100 WD with determination. Its metal bull face glinted as in approval, the battle of Their careers was happening in 9 hours.
its a good story, but, it does have grammer problems, type in word the copy paste here, may i have character requests


Name: Izuma Inzori
Name: Sonai Inzori
Name: Hatachi Inzori
Name: Rez Inzori
Dude this story is epic! Continue it and finish it!

EDIT: Also add me as a charecter. Name: Rafael Martinez
Bey: Rock ScorpioT125JB
Steven opened his eyes and rubbed them as he began to realize that his destination was reached. The limo smoothly drove along the busy city street as he saw the tournament stadium just down the road. The Stadium was huge and the line outside for tickets went as far as the eye can see. He lowered the window of the taxi and looked onto the hopeful spectators. A young boy noticed him sticking his head out the window and yelled "LOOK! ITS STEVEN KOLE!" as people shifted their heads, the huge crowd began to yell and wave. Steven waved to the crowd and noticed that some people were wearing "rest in peace the queen" shirts to honor his sister. A smile slowly sprouted on his face as he knew the crowd was behind him. As Steven sat down Nick, sitting across from him says "they're all here for you so dont let them down kid-o". Steven nodded his head and said "I may be young but im still a champion, i will give anyone who stands in my way hell, and a little more". The limo drove to the back of the stadium, where the competitors signed in and were appointed there locker room. He passed many of the competitors of the tournament, who were all top ranked in the country they came from. He knew most of them due to the fact that his older sister beat all of them multiple times. They all apologized about his loss but he could tell that they were happy they had a chance to win this tournament. but there were 2 new bladers that caught his eye. one was Josh Toll, an american blader from california that came in second place in the under 18 International championship the year before so Steven of course said hello and shook his hand. They were the top two youngest bladers out of america so they practiced alot together and were semi close friends. The other one was a hispanic man about 20 with a pureness to him, Steven had never seen him before so he gave him a small nod when passing him by. The hispanic man saw Steven's nod and rushed to him. He grabbed Steven's hand and shook it with excitement. He spoke with a thick mexican accent as he feverishly spoke to Steven. "Oh it is a pleasure to meet you Senor Kole, I am sooo sorry for your loss". Steven smiled at the energy the man carried and thanked him for his concern. "My name is Armando Leyva, The best blader of mexico and 11th best blader in north america". Steven greeted the man as a friend. Being use to the fact of people knowing who he was but him not know them but, it did surprise him that a top blader from another country was so star struck to meet him. Knowing he had to focus, he ignored the suspicious thought. Nick led the way to Steven's locker room, knowing how the tournaments work like the back of his hand. Since he was the manager of the best blader in the world, he knew how nervous Steven must have been to just be thrown into a competition of this calibur. Steven reached into his back pack he carried to tournaments and looked over his launcher and blade. One of his biggest problems as a blader is the fact that he was stubborn. His blade Earth Bull 100 WD was a fantastic blade but some of the parts were outclassed. His sister constantly pounded on him about it but he never listened. This time was different though, he wasnt here to blade for just himself. He had to win for his sister so he did what he had to do. He took out his blade wrench and dismantled his blade. He took his 100 track and WD tip off his blade and reached into his bag once more. He slowly pulled out a pink beyblade part case with the name "Amber K." written on the top. He rubbed the top of the case slowly as he thought of all those nights his sister stayed up all night just trying combinations with her blade case clutched in her arms. He shook his head to refocus and pulled out what he knew he needed. He assembled the blade together slowly and looked to his newly revamped friend, Earth Bull AD145 CS. His bull released a surge of power into his hand, it was more powerful than ever.
nice man im not trying to spam or anything but ur doing a deffence combo right? well ad145 isnt good for deffence combos u should have done lik 230 or somthing along with tht but great anyways cant wait to see wats next Grin
its suppose to be like the anime so the actual part has a gimmick lol
ohhhhh i c now haha well then its good