Spiral Blitz 2-Pack

Poll: Did I do good for my first draft?

It's okay
40.00%
4
It sucks!
60.00%
6
Total: 100% 10 vote(s)
This is my first article so guys please dont close this!
Well, it could be better. Writing your own sections when all of these parts are already listed on Beywiki is a bit silly, considering most of them have gone through tons of revisions, and are well written.

This isn't as much, as it has some punctuation errors and such.
I'm pretty sure this is from the Hasbro 2-pack, no? If so, I'm not sure it needs a draft, but I could be wrong.

The WD section is almost completely incorrect. Evil Pisces had ED145 not 145. The grammar is terrible all throughout the draft. The Evil/Killer section defenitely needs more content. Since when does the energy ring/clear wheel look like a fence? The first part in the face bolt description makes no sense. You shoukd mention something about the zodiac of Pisces.
Beyblades within Faceoff Sets (not "2-Packs") do not have their own individual articles, but the Faceoff Sets themselves should have articles.
(Jul. 02, 2014  8:21 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote: Well, it could be better. Writing your own sections when all of these parts are already listed on Beywiki is a bit silly, considering most of them have gone through tons of revisions, and are well written.

This isn't as much, as it has some punctuation errors and such.

I just noticed 1 error in the energy ring part.What do you think I should change?
This fusion wheel is slightly thinner than the one on Evil Gemios;As a result,it has less attack and is too thin to provide sufficient defense.
The wheel was originally called "Killer" but to avoid offense,it was changed to "Evil".

This^ should changed to this:

This fusion wheel is slightly thinner than the one on Evil Gemios; as a result, it has less attack and is too thin to provide sufficient defense. The wheel was originally called "Killer" but to avoid offense, it was changed to "Evil".

You need to space between punctuation.
(Jul. 02, 2014  8:23 PM)Echizen Wrote: I'm pretty sure this is from the Hasbro 2-pack, no? If so, I'm not sure it needs a draft, but I could be wrong.

The WD section is almost completely incorrect. Evil Pisces had ED145 not 145. The grammar is terrible all throughout the draft. The Evil/Killer section defenitely needs more content. Since when does the energy ring/clear wheel look like a fence? The first part in the face bolt description makes no sense. You shoukd mention something about the zodiac of Pisces.
This is my first article bro.Tone down just a little.
The fence part I will fix.


Here's something closer to what it should look like. I don't know the other Beyblade in this 2 pack, otherwise I'd do it. I just copied and pasted each part from separate articles on Beywiki.

EDIT: Looks like it's got ED145, not 145, I'll revise that shortly.

EDIT 2: Added in Earth Virgo GB145BS, which was in the 2 pack this came with, below.

This isn't even a complete article, just the basics. No weights, photos, uses in customizations (which can easily be found for each respective part all throughout Beywiki) and whatnot. Fix that up and you're good.

One major flaw in your article though is that you don't put spaces between punctuation.

If you type like this,it looks bad.You know?
If you type like this, it looks good. You know?
I was going to write something EXACTLY like that but I thought it would be plagirism...

EDIT:Unless I'm mistaken,the other bey is Earth Virgo GB145BS.
I'm pretty sure it's called Evil Pisces. Not Evil Shark Pisces. You didn't space right and Earth Pisces GB145BS is not top tier. And it's not the 3rd tallest track.


This article isn't too good at all .
Beywiki is there for a resource. If you're going to be using parts from other articles' descriptions, that's all right. Just don't use them on other websites who have their own Beyblade encyclopedia, and you're good. Smile

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:43 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: I'm pretty sure it's called Evil Pisces. Not Evil Shark Pisces.

It is. This is from the 2-pack by Hasbro "Spiral Blitz 2-pack."
Raigeko13, the 145 section should still be changed to ED145, becuase it had ED145 not 145. Smile
Read my edited post.

More stuff.

1. You don't need to mention the anime character.
2. You can't Add other tracks to 145.
3. There really isn't a reason to mention it being good against Omega Dragonis 85XF, it's not good.


You should do more research before making a draft.

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:44 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote: Beywiki is there for a resource. If you're going to be using parts from other articles' descriptions, that's all right. Just don't use them on other websites who have their own Beyblade encyclopedia, and you're good. Smile

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:43 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: I'm pretty sure it's called Evil Pisces. Not Evil Shark Pisces.

It is. This is from the 2-pack by Hasbro "Spiral Blitz 2-pack."


But for beywiki shouldn't it be named according to the parts?
(Jul. 02, 2014  8:44 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote: Beywiki is there for a resource. If you're going to be using parts from other articles' descriptions, that's all right. Just don't use them on other websites who have their own Beyblade encyclopedia, and you're good. Smile

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:43 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: I'm pretty sure it's called Evil Pisces. Not Evil Shark Pisces.

It is. This is from the 2-pack by Hasbro "Spiral Blitz 2-pack."

Really?Thanks!And DK,I said Evil Shark Pisces right?
Yes, you said it was called Evil Shark Pisces. It's just Evil Pisces.
(Jul. 02, 2014  8:47 PM)Echizen Wrote: Raigeko13, the 145 section should still be changed to ED145, becuase it had ED145 not 145. Smile
Hah, beat you to the punch by about 4 minutes. Smile I changed it.

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:48 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: Read my edited post.

More stuff.

1. You don't need to mention the anime character.
2. You can't Add other tracks to 145.
3. There really isn't a reason to mention it being good against Omega Dragonis 85XF, it's not good.


You should do more research before making a draft.

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:44 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote: Beywiki is there for a resource. If you're going to be using parts from other articles' descriptions, that's all right. Just don't use them on other websites who have their own Beyblade encyclopedia, and you're good. Smile

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:43 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: I'm pretty sure it's called Evil Pisces. Not Evil Shark Pisces.

It is. This is from the 2-pack by Hasbro "Spiral Blitz 2-pack."


But for beywiki shouldn't it be named according to the parts?

Not for Hasbro 2 packs, no.

For example.

(Jul. 02, 2014  8:51 PM)Echizen Wrote: Yes, you said it was called Evil Shark Pisces. It's just Evil Pisces.

More specifically, Evil Pisces ED145WD.




Honestly though, there isn't even a need to be writing an entire article, since it's a 2-pack. All 2-pack articles have on Beywiki, are overalls and contents.
That link has them named according to the parts, like I said...
Ok,I'll change it.Thanks guys!
(Jul. 02, 2014  8:59 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: That link has them named according to the parts, like I said...

I thought you meant the title, which is "Lion Gale Force Wall Set."
(Jul. 02, 2014  9:02 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote:
(Jul. 02, 2014  8:59 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: That link has them named according to the parts, like I said...

I thought you meant the title, which is "Lion Gale Force Wall Set."
No...

I meant the name of the beyblade.
(Jul. 02, 2014  9:05 PM)DRAGON KING EX Wrote: No...

I meant the name of the beyblade.

If you're referring to the contents on the article, say so. Likewise for the title.

The article title should be 'Spiral Blitz Set', and the contents should be respective of the Beyblades parts, that being Earth Virgo GB145BS and Killer (Evil) Pisces ED145WD.
I'm not talking about the set. For this beyblade there is no "Shark" part in this beyblade, so th title shouldn't include it.
I thought the energy ring was called shark????
No, it's called Pisces.
On top of what Raigeko13, DRAGON KING EX, and Echizen previously mentioned, here are some of my thoughts on your work:

Quote:Using this track with parts such as ed(ED145)or C(C145)will help it protect against low attackers such as Omega Dragonis 85XF.
  • I was quite confused by this the the most: To begin with, I don't even why adding C145 in this case was really needed, as the track doesn't have any use on Evil Pisces, nor does it on any other Beyblade of the two in the 'Spiral Blitz 2-Pack'. Both ED145 and the un-needed C145 don't have any use for protecting against low attack attackers, as well. Giving an example like Omega Dragonis 85XF is quite irrelevant too, as it isn't top-tier.
Quote:145 is currently the 3rd highest spintrack.145 is used in the top-tier comboEeearth Pisces GB145BS.

145 isn't currently the 3rd highest Spin Track either. In fact, it didn't really make the top 5, as well:

  • 1) 230/E230/A230/F230/SP230
  • 2) TH220
  • 3) TH195
  • 4) TH170
  • 5) SA165
  • Keep in mind that Earth Pisces GB145BS was never top-tier, as well. Though there probably was something similar in the past along the lines of what you just said, Pisces, nor BS would never be in that kind of combo situation, as well. It would probably be better to say something like how Earth Virgo GB145RSF (all have parts from the 2-Pack (not specifically from Evil Pisces) don't have any competitive use in both Standard and Zero-G Format as of now, though however, that specific combo has some uses in the Limited Format. As articles like these would be published to BeyWiki depending how good they come out, it wouldn't be best to mention Standard, Zero-G, and Limited Format, as the article isn't relating to the WBO.
  • I take it you'd also want to list the other versions of Pisces, as well as the competitive combos of the two pack itself, or the Evil Pisces alone. I did some of the work for you. Feel free to add these to your draft, as well, King E.Emperor:

Other Versions:
  • Thermal Pisces T12ES
  • Burn Pisces ED145WF

Competitive Combos utilizing the parts of Evil Pisces ED145WD:

Attack:
  • MF-H Flash Pisces GB145/H145/S130/CH120 R2F/RF/LRF
  • MF-H Flash Pisces W145 MF



  • There wasn't anything else I was able to find among the top-tier list, so I think that's just about it, aside from WD doing somewhat decent on SA165, though it is outclassed by both EWD and BWD.
  • On top of everything I just mentioned, there's also what Raigeko13 said (which is very, very important), too:

    (Jul. 02, 2014  8:21 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote: Well, it could be better. Writing your own sections when all of these parts are already listed on Beywiki is a bit silly, considering most of them have gone through tons of revisions, and are well written.

    This isn't as much, as it has some punctuation errors and such.

    (Jul. 02, 2014  8:35 PM)Raigeko13 Wrote: One major flaw in your article though is that you don't put spaces between punctuation.

    If you type like this,it looks bad.You know?
    If you type like this, it looks good. You know?

Feel free to add what I said to the OP, though my work probably isn't as valuable as Raigeko13's.

Do you think you're ready to do this, King E.Emporor? You're going to need to devote a lot of time and effort into this.