Hey guys so You might know that i've been writing stories for a while now, but i've decided to start my own manga, Name not thought up yet. I am a massive fan of manga and I wanted to give it a go, so every so often I will post pages of the manga when I've finished editing them from original drawings. As I know you guys need to have a taster i'll just give you a drawing that takes up two pages at the start of the manga.

Pic 1:

Spoiler (Click to View)

I would be pleased if I could have some C & C's on my drawing style before I put some more on.

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This is just what I see as "off", listed in no particular order. Don't think I'm trying to shoot you down, though.

Criticisms (Click to View)

The head is too large, proportionally.
The legs are too short.
The foreshortening of his left arm is funky.
The hands are too large for that "size" of character. By size I mean body type, age (assumed), etc.
I'm assuming that the giant two white things are the doors of a refrigerator/freezer. If so, he seems to be ridiculously tall.
The torso is by far the largest part of his body, while his neck seems short by comparison.
His eyes are mildly predatory, and therefore off-putting.
I can't see any eyebrows.
Some of the lines are too stiff for manga.
The plasma spurting up around him is distracting from the main image. It should be more centered on the character.

As I said, that's just my observations. Take them with a grain of salt.

Compliments (Click to View)

The shading is well done.
There's plenty of attention to detail, which I like.
The detail on the hands are well done.

Now, I know it seems like there are many more criticisms, but what I've mentioned in compliments are some of the things that make manga great. So, I suggest that you keep practicing drawing, and rework that later. Also, I think that coloring the drawing, and adding a background, would help immensely.

Also, I'm going to make a shameless plug: ask for CnC on Otaku Space. I can almost guarantee that it will help you.

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Otaku Space | Signature by Medz | YouTube

I am a genius with powers from out of this world.

I guess I should explain, to answer alot of your critisicm.

1) I based this on myself, and I have a big head in comparison to the rest of my body, so I thought I should put that in. I tried making the hands the same scale as I used my head, aka the palm fits over most of the face.

2) Part of the legs are covered by the plasma ring at the bottom, and as it shows in page 4 he has made a crater which he's standing in, hence making him look smaller, didn't really explain that much.

3) I failed with that. what I was going for was his elbow is jutting behind him, as in he's pulled his arm back about to strike, which he does page 3.

4) i'm guessing you based the hands were to big based on the height of my character and so forth? if so I think before might help with confusion.

5) glad you saw that, it was a trick drawing, I wanted to see if people noticed the objects in the pile. along with a clock and a pencil most of the neck is covered by a large collar.

6) his eyes change when he uses the attack, but revert to ordinary eyes after.

7) There hidden underneath his hair, And normally I don't draw stuff you can't see, even though alot of manga artists do.

8) can you please explain further?

9) again do you mean you were drawn to the plasma more than the rest of the picture?

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For 8, I can explain. The lines are just that-lines. They're somewhat to...straight, I guess. They make the character look a bit like a puppet. Sort of. (Assuming it's the same problem as I see.) As Odin said, take my opinion worth less than a grain of salt, as I can't draw very well.

heres a (lets call it a extract) from a page in my manga foucsing on one point perspective backgrounds and coloured in greyscale, this is edited in gimp and was not inked before scanning:

Spoiler (Click to View)

Just to show that I do have more skills than the first image I posted. C & C's again please. after this I won't post until I finish a page.

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This is pretty cool. I like where your going with this. Keep up the good work

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http://www.youtube.com/user/ThePikachu0909?feature=mhee -My youtube channel

thanks for that, and yeah, lots more to come soon.

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