[Fan Fiction]  {Slow Updates} The Eternal Ones: Scion of the Legends

Poll: Are you excited?

No...This is absolutely trash
7.14%
2
Nope
3.57%
1
Yes
32.14%
9
Nani?
25.00%
7
Like it but, needs some improvements
32.14%
9
Total: 100% 28 vote(s)
New Beyblade System: Eternal System

This system has four parts. Please read this:

Eternal Chip: This chip is like the Superking System's chip, but has two major differences. One is gimmicks. Every chip in this system has a gimmick in the chip. For example, for the bey Astaroth has a chip whose Gimmick is Magnets. The chip contains magnets, which draws beys toward itself, so Astaroth can finish it off. The second difference is a Eternal Ability. Each chip has a unique different Eternal Ability. A example of an Eternal Ability is blades. The Chip throws blades of energy around the stadium, attacking it's opponents.

Mana Core: The Mana core sustains most of the bey's energy in it. It goes around and beneath the Eternal Chip. The Mana Core has two parts. One is Eternal Left and one is Eternal Right. Eternal Right specializes in Defense and Balance. For example, if a Eternal System bey gets hit by a fearsome move like Brave Sword or Raging Upper, the Eternal Right can switch to the side where the attack's coming. It can try to minimize or stop the attack. The Eternal Left is specialized in attack. Eternal Left is used during most attacks. It's sharp points make it perfect to use in attack.

Eternal Circuit: The Eternal Circuit is kind of like the ring, but a bit more complex. The Eternal Circuit is heavy metal, but is stronger then any other system's ring. The Eternal Circuit provides power during Special Moves. A eternal circuit breaking is the worst dream of a professional blader. The circuit has three slopes from which through three sharp things from the Mana core are in. The Eternal Circuit can be used to deliver air attacks. When you use your flux, a Eternal System bey's Eternal Circuit and Mana Core Fuse, using the three slopes. The Fusion increases the bey's power by 10-fold, and can deliver powerful attacks.

Mortal Driver: This is mostly like a MFB performance tip. It's weight though varies. The weight of a mortal driver is much more than the weight of the OG system's tip. Each Mortal Driver in this system has two modes at the very least. For example, there's a driver called the Sage Driver, which harnesses Natural Energy to speed up it's speed. Natural Mode and Demolition Mode. Natural Mode in the Sage Driver can absorb Natural Energy. Demolition Driver is when the driver pulls into itself, increasing attack energy and surges power throughout the whole stadium. This is just an example. They are many more unique and powerful drivers than the Sage Driver.

Here, I hope you guys like this better then the crappy system I came up with Earlier. Please share ratings, thoughts, and suggestions.

I shall summon @XSabxManiacX, Instarez, PinkRose, i'm batman, and SSJBDoku to share thoughts, suggestions, and ratings.
The Eternal Driver approves of this.

So you already know I'm not the biggest fan of Bey parts having all sorts of supernatural gimmicks and stuff (like the thing with the Driver absorbing natural energy and parts fusing mid-battle)...buuuuuut I have to admit, this is pretty creative.

1- The Eternal Chip is cool, no complaints on this one (the magnet thing sounds a bit bizarre, but in a fun way).

2- The Mana Ring is ok, if not a bit busted. The thing is, not all Beys should have both offensive and Defensive properties; it's part of why there are four types of Beys in the first place. For example, something like Valkyrie wouldn't defend on one side and attack on another, it's full-on attack from all sides with just decent Burst Resistance.

3- The Eternal Circuit...yeah, this one's a no for me. Like I said above, Bey parts don't just fuse mid-battle, and they definitely don't suddenly attack 10 times harder, as that's realistically impossible (remember, Resonance and its different forms are as far as supernatural elements go in the Burst Universe, since it's still supposed to be more realistic).

4- The Mortal Driver is actually fine aside from the supernatural shenanigans, but I personally don't like how all of them can change modes. That kind of takes away the specialty of manual mode-changing, which is supposed to be a special gimmick exclusive to Balance Drivers, and makes other types of Driver gimmicks obsolete.

Now, I'm not saying it's bad or that you should change it (it's your story after all), this is just my opinion on the system. By the way, are we supposed to change our characters' Beys so they fit this system (are you using it later in the story?)
(May. 18, 2021  7:36 PM)PinkRose Wrote: The Eternal Driver approves of this.

So you already know I'm not the biggest fan of Bey parts having all sorts of supernatural gimmicks and stuff (like the thing with the Driver absorbing natural energy and parts fusing mid-battle)...buuuuuut I have to admit, this is pretty creative.

1- The Eternal Chip is cool, no complaints on this one (the magnet thing sounds a bit bizarre, but in a fun way).

2- The Mana Ring is ok, if not a bit busted. The thing is, not all Beys should have both offensive and Defensive properties; it's part of why there are four types of Beys in the first place. For example, something like Valkyrie wouldn't defend on one side and attack on another, it's full-on attack from all sides with just decent Burst Resistance.

3- The Eternal Circuit...yeah, this one's a no for me. Like I said above, Bey parts don't just fuse mid-battle, and they definitely don't suddenly attack 10 times harder, as that's realistically impossible (remember, Resonance and its different forms are as far as supernatural elements go in the Burst Universe, since it's still supposed to be more realistic).

4- The Mortal Driver is actually fine aside from the supernatural shenanigans, but I personally don't like how all of them can change modes. That kind of takes away the specialty of manual mode-changing, which is supposed to be a special gimmick exclusive to Balance Drivers, and makes other types of Driver gimmicks obsolete.

Now, I'm not saying it's bad or that you should change it (it's your story after all), this is just my opinion on the system. By the way, are we supposed to change our characters' Beys so they fit this system (are you using it later in the story?)

Yeah, I really appreciate your thoughts and yoour opinions. Yes, you are supposed to change your characters' beys so they can fit this system. Also, this is basically just a draft. Like a rough draft, And I'm definetely going to add some changes.
(May. 18, 2021  9:17 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: Yeah, I really appreciate your thoughts and your opinions. Yes, you are supposed to change your characters' beys so they can fit this system. Also, this is basically just a draft. Like a rough draft, And I'm definetely going to add some changes.

Alright then. I'll start working on the Bey when you're done with the final draft for this.
(May. 18, 2021  9:30 PM)PinkRose Wrote:
(May. 18, 2021  9:17 PM)Ryuga\s Son Wrote: Yeah, I really appreciate your thoughts and your opinions. Yes, you are supposed to change your characters' beys so they can fit this system. Also, this is basically just a draft. Like a rough draft, And I'm definetely going to add some changes.

Alright then. I'll start working on the Bey when you're done with the final draft for this.

Yes, and also, you have two options. You can change it to the final draft of the Eternal System, or you could leave it in the Superking System.
Ryuga this system sounds super cool would love to see it in action
(May. 19, 2021  12:55 AM)SSJBDoku Wrote: Ryuga this system sounds super cool would love to see it in action

yeah, but this is only a draft, I'll make the final draft later.
Alright can't wait
Final Draft of Eternal System:
(No changes in Eternal Chip)

Eternal Chip: Eternal Chip: This chip is like the Superking System's chip, but has major differences. One is gimmicks. Every chip in this system has a gimmick in the chip. For example, for the bey Astaroth has a chip whose Gimmick is Magnets. The chip contains magnets, which draws beys toward itself, so Astaroth can finish it off. The second difference is a Eternal Ability. Each chip has a unique different Eternal Ability. A example of an Eternal Ability is blades. The Chip throws blades of energy around the stadium, attacking it's opponents.

(Changes in Mana Ring)

Mana Ring: Mana Ring holds most of bey's power in it. Mana Ring is the basis of almost all mode-changes. Mana Ring has a few gimmicks in place. For example, a Eternal System Bey, Osiris, can use the Mana Ring to display the Death Flux. The Mana Ring switches mode, and the mode can help display a Flux's Power. A Flux of a Eternal Bey System is bounded to a Mana Ring. Not all Mana Rings have mode changes. The Mana Ring is beneath and around the Eternal Chip. They are Three Types of Mana Rings:

1. Changer Mana-Ring: This type of Mana Ring can switch modes. But, the Mana Ring does not have Defense, Stamina, Attack, or Balance type modes. It has Flux, Combat, Inferno, and External Modes. It might vary, some Mana Rings only have Flux and Combat modes. It varies what mode-changes your bey has. You might have all, but some have one. At least, all Changer Mana-Rings have at least one mode.

2. Shape-Shifter Mana Ring: This Mana Ring can fit in the slopes of the Immortal Circuit, which hardens the bey. The bey trembles with power, assimilating energy for destructive moves. The Shape-Shifter is when the Mana Ring fits into the Slopes of the Immortal Circuit, and changes the shape of the bey. It pulls out special features. Like for example, if there is a angel/demon type bey, the Shape-Shifter can unlock wing structures, enhancing the speed and power of the bey.

3. Deity Mana Ring: Deity Mana Ring is the most rare of all Mana Rings. But, that doesn't mean it's the strongest or the better. This Mana Ring is more of an Attack Type Mana Ring, which enhances Attack Power. When bladers have Flare, the flare can construct deep connections with one's bey. The connection affects the Mana Ring. The Flux enacts inside the Mana Ring, and powerful mana flows outward from the Bey. The bey's avatar appears, but some differences since it's Flare Deity.


The Immortal Circuit:

The Immortal Circuit is beneath the Mana Ring. The Immortal Circuit is mostly used for defense. In Defense,the Immortal Circuit is sturdy and very hard to penetrate through. Immortal Circuit might even be able to stop Special Moves. But, one might use the Immortal Circuit to pierce through or break an opponent bey. Also, Immortal Circuits help balance Eternal System Beys, making it even more difficult to throw beys off balance. The Immortal Circuit has three slopes, which sometimes The Mana Ring goes into, to harden the bey.



Eternal Driver: Eternal Drivers are unique. For one, Eternal Drivers have some different features. For example, some Eternal Drivers are jagged, which provides them more speed. Also, some Eternal Drivers also have extended drivers concealed. For example, when a bey attacks the a Eternal System Bey, the driver increases in length or height, prevading or destroying opponent. Some Eternal Drivers also have the feature of metal balls in them. The Metal Balls are very mysterious and are yet not confirmed. (Will be shown later in story) The actual driver is 1.5 of the size of a Hypersphere driver.


PinkRose
i'm batman
SSJBDoku
Noice. Does this system include Forge Discs?
(May. 21, 2021  6:17 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Noice. Does this system include Forge Discs?

The Immortal Circuit is the Eternal System's Forge Disc

Also, what's your overall rating for this System?
Hmm....7.5/10. It's cool, tho I have some nitpicks on it as mentioned in my previous review.
I'll try to update Astrea to fit the system sometime later.
(May. 21, 2021  6:20 PM)PinkRose Wrote: Hmm....7.5/10. It's cool, tho I have some nitpicks on it as mentioned in my previous review.
I'll try to update Astrea to fit the system sometime later.

Didn't I change the nitpicks you said? The Natural Energy Absorb thingy, etc.
This is realy good keep up the good work
This fan fic is on haitus since I really want to work on my other fan fic Jakkyrz Razaaz. I will continue this, but after a while.
As mentioned above in the Title of the Thread, this fan fic will have slow updates.

So, the next episode is:

Part Two of Three, Big Fierce Battles: A Explosive Launch! Ferocious Awakening!

Two strong-willed bladers meet up in the run to win the Dungeon. Who will win? Who will emerge victorious? One thing is for sure. This battle will be a savage one!