World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Fan Fiction Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: Fan Fiction Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm (/Thread-Fan-Fiction-Beyblade-Burst-Ridge-Storm)

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Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 02, 2021

Welcome to Beyblade burst: Ridge Storm, A.K.A, The RS system.. this series will follow a blader named Dax Koryu and his RS bey Inferno Dragon!!! The series will contain three characters from the anime
~ Free de la hoya
~ Shu Kurenai
~ Delta Akane
these three characters alongside the characters you submit will make up Beyblade burst: Ridge Storm
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the ridge storm consists of a few parts, all parts can be custom but IRL parts can be submitted as well.

layer: the RS layers consist of two parts a bottom piece similar to a gt layer, but these layers are just the basic form of the Beyblade, then sitting just on top of that is the      "energy plate" essentially an armor piece that sits on top of the base, this completes the layer. essentially every bey is like union Achilles with 2 modes. an attack/defense/stamina/balance mode with the energy plate on and a speed version of that same attack/defense/stamina/balance mode with the energy plate removed. 

chip: The chip sits onto the base to hold down the energy plate or snaps into just the layer.

Chassis: these beys contain chassis like superking beys, EXCEPT there all single chassis, double chassis don't exist

Forge disc: standard forge disc

The frame (optional): if you have a core disc you can have a frame

Driver: a basic driver.. nothing different
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Stadium: the stadium is a stadium similar to the one in the anime, But with a few customs features, 1. the stadium has a special anti-friction coating. 2.  the walls are higher making it harder to get a ring out. 3. the middle of the stadium has a little indent for stamina/defense types to spin in, giving them a small advantage when in the middle. 4. the outer edge of the stadium is all rubber!! Let the battles begin!!!! 
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Rules
1. Your bey's name must match your character's FIRST name, for example, if your bey was named "blade" your first name must match that by also starting with the letter b, the prefix can be whatever you want it to be.

2.  you must describe the part AND its gimmicks in the character form below,  in relation to this rule please describe its special moves as well

3.  Your character can but doesn't have to be related to a character in the anime

4.  No try hard or super gimmicky Beyblades, for example, "my bey has metal contact point in speed mode"... no this will be denied, also the gimmick limit is set at three for each part.. keep in mind EACH PART.. that's a total of nine allowed gimmicks for one bey... this isn't a low limit
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Character form, please fill all of this out with as much detail as possible

(character info)

Name:

Eye color: 

Age:

What they look like:

(bey info)
Bey Name:

Layer name/description(speed mode):

Layer name/decription(energy mode): 

Chip name/description:

Chassis name/description:

Forge disc: name/description 

Frame name/description(optional):

Driver name/description: 
(special moves)
List the special moves below (max cap of moves is 6)

(also how do I do the "spoiler" thing)


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - UnseenBurst - Jun. 02, 2021

This is how you do it you put [] this around Spoiler then type what you wanna put in then add this at the end [/spoiler]


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 02, 2021

main character




RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - UnseenBurst - Jun. 02, 2021

(Jun. 02, 2021  4:02 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: main character


Congrats!! you got it now Smile


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - SacredXcalibur - Jun. 02, 2021

Looking forward to this


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

Free de la hoya:

Shu Kurenai

Delta Akane



RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

chapter 1



RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - UnseenBurst - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  3:09 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: chapter 1

Ima just straight up say that sounds nothing like Free Shu and Delta lemme get my rating system ready tho


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  3:41 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(Jun. 03, 2021  3:09 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: chapter 1

Ima just straight up say that sounds nothing like Free Shu and Delta lemme get my rating system ready tho

I'll work on that


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - UnseenBurst - Jun. 03, 2021

Alright sorry PinkRose but I'm using your rating system (Hope that's ok)
Plot: 1/5. Feels like nothing is really happening.
Dialogue: 1/5. Nothing really exciting is happening just them talking about beys
Characterization: 1/5. Like I said before that sounds nothing like Free Shu and Delta. try rewatching the season that they were in.
Grammar: 4/5. Can't spot any mistakes only little ones.
Battle: 1/5. It is honestly not that good because they were kinda bullying my man Delta also the battle felt really weird.
8/25 needs work but I know you can do it (Not trying to be mean just my feedback)


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

this may be a bit soon but here's chapter two... I'll release chapters as I find time... there will probably be a lot of chapters to this series... anyways, hers chapter 2



RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - UnseenBurst - Jun. 03, 2021

[Deleted Post}

(Jun. 03, 2021  4:50 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: this may be a bit soon but here's chapter two... I'll release chapters as I find time... there will probably be a lot of chapters to this series... anyways, hers chapter 2

Plot: 2/5. Ok, there isn't really that good of a plot other than Dax wanting to battle the legends and the legends being straight-up rude.
Dialogue: 1/5. The dialogue doesn't really go with the plot that I'm picking up
Characterization: 2/5. You did ok with Free but it's not like him to fall out of a tree and Delta's nice now and Shu is not that rude.
Grammar: 4/5. Can't spot any mistakes only little ones.
Battle: 1/5. The battle kinda felt random and we basically know nothing about Fafnir you could have let Dax inspect Fafnir so we could learn about it's gimik. (Also why where how and when are Free Shu and Delta together)
10/25 You've gotten better but you still have some work to do (Not trying to be mean just my feedback)


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  4:58 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote: [Deleted Post}

(Jun. 03, 2021  4:50 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: this may be a bit soon but here's chapter two... I'll release chapters as I find time... there will probably be a lot of chapters to this series... anyways, hers chapter 2

Plot: 2/5. Ok, there isn't really that good of a plot other than Dax wanting to battle the legends and the legends being straight-up rude.
Dialogue: 1/5. The dialogue doesn't really go with the plot that I'm picking up
Characterization: 2/5. You did ok with Free but it's not like him to fall out of a tree and Delta's nice now and Shu is not that rude.
Grammar: 4/5. Can't spot any mistakes only little ones.
Battle: 1/5. The battle kinda felt random and we basically know nothing about Fafnir you could have let Dax inspect Fafnir so we could learn about it's gimik. (Also why where how and when are Free Shu and Delta together)
10/25 You've gotten better but you still have some work to do (Not trying to be mean just my feedback)
Well free shu and delta and Dax are the only characters  I have to use for now, so.. yeah, free is more of a there or not character, so not like they're gonna be together a lot and the shu and delta thing will explain it's self through out the story line


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - LegendJustice - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  5:03 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote:
(Jun. 03, 2021  4:58 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote: [Deleted Post}


Plot: 2/5. Ok, there isn't really that good of a plot other than Dax wanting to battle the legends and the legends being straight-up rude.
Dialogue: 1/5. The dialogue doesn't really go with the plot that I'm picking up
Characterization: 2/5. You did ok with Free but it's not like him to fall out of a tree and Delta's nice now and Shu is not that rude.
Grammar: 4/5. Can't spot any mistakes only little ones.
Battle: 1/5. The battle kinda felt random and we basically know nothing about Fafnir you could have let Dax inspect Fafnir so we could learn about it's gimik. (Also why where how and when are Free Shu and Delta together)
10/25 You've gotten better but you still have some work to do (Not trying to be mean just my feedback)
Well free shu and delta and Dax are the only characters  I have to use for now, so.. yeah, free is more of a there or not character, so not like they're gonna be together a lot and the shu and delta thing will explain it's self through out the story line

Try spacing it it's a little hard.to read


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

seriously, I need more characters... I'll create more by myself if no one adds any


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - LegendJustice - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  6:00 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: seriously, I need more characters... I'll create more by myself if no one adds any

Name: Kurin Lopez
Bey: Cyclone Knight 
Siblings: he is the younger brother of Kit Lopez
Personality: h has a but of a temper but he has a soft spot
Looks: he wears red jacket with a black T-shirt and white and has free eyes and wears a kit's hat but back words and has brown hair

Moves: Cyclone sense and Cyclone guard


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - USN - Jun. 03, 2021

Honestly, I gotta agree with Strike on this one. First, you need to work on punctuation. There is an insane amount of punctuation error. Second of all, there is no real plot. Currently it is just random battles that start when Dax screams at someone. Third, WE DON'T KNOW WHAT ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE! There is no descriptive language.
As much as I wanna see where this goes, I have my doubts. If you improve all the things outlined in this this post though... well... we'll get there when we get there.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

BRUH.. does no one read the character templates... that's where most of the describing happens, but I'll work on it... or scrape this entire thing IDK


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - USN - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  7:09 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: BRUH.. does no one read the character templates... that's where most of the describing happens, but I'll work on it... or scrape this entire thing IDK

That doesn't describe anything around us though.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

seriously if you wanna know what the parts are like and the characters I filled out some long a** character sheets with bey and personal character info on them

(Jun. 03, 2021  7:12 PM)USN Wrote:
(Jun. 03, 2021  7:09 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: BRUH.. does no one read the character templates... that's where most of the describing happens, but I'll work on it... or scrape this entire thing IDK

That doesn't describe anything around us though.

oh


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - USN - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  7:14 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: seriously if you wanna know what the parts are like and the characters I filled out some long a** character sheets with bey and personal character info on them

I meant scenery.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - Lucha Burst - Jun. 03, 2021

so honestly I got ideas I just can't write fan fiction... it never comes out right

also, I had 4 characters to work with.. and this is my first time trying to write fan fiction


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - USN - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  7:16 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: so honestly I got ideas I just can't write fan fiction... it never comes out right

also, I had 4 characters to work with.. and this is my first time trying to write fan fiction

I think you should keep trying. You've only been at it for 2 chapters.


RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - UnseenBurst - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  8:23 PM)USN Wrote:
(Jun. 03, 2021  7:16 PM)Lucha Burst Wrote: so honestly I got ideas I just can't write fan fiction... it never comes out right

also, I had 4 characters to work with.. and this is my first time trying to write fan fiction

I think you should keep trying. You've only been at it for 2 chapters.

Sorry if this is off topic but I have a question for USN



RE: Beyblade Burst: Ridge Storm - LegendJustice - Jun. 03, 2021

(Jun. 03, 2021  8:27 PM)Strikegamerv6 Wrote:
(Jun. 03, 2021  8:23 PM)USN Wrote: I think you should keep trying. You've only been at it for 2 chapters.

Sorry if this is off topic but I have a question for USN

Same