World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Printable Version

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Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

This is my third Beyblade story, so I'd want you guys to know that chapters will be slow because I'm working on another one currently. Also now MyNameIsVero is working with me, so things will get done quicker. When an X.X symbol is next to a character's name that means that they are dead. Well, here's the story:

Characters:
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7



RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - rydeatwonTM - Jan. 01, 2014

Woa I luvin this! Also can you try posting a poll?
Also I hav a requestumundo:

Myrin
Beyblade: Golem Orochi AD170MWD


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

I'll try. What about a persona and backstory?


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Dual - Jan. 01, 2014

It's pretty good, not really any grammar or spelling mistakes. Can't wait to see the next chapter!


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

(Jan. 01, 2014  7:24 PM)Ultramarine Wrote: It's pretty good, not really any grammar or spelling mistakes. Can't wait to see the next chapter!
Thanks! The prologue actually takes place ten years before chapter one, so huge maturity changes in Jake.


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Resonated_ - Jan. 01, 2014

I think that this story is going to come out well also, I have a character request.

Name: Onkisu Inuzuka (Onkisu Means Onyx)
Bey:Kakusareta Kumo (It Means Hidden Cloud)
Personality: An anti-social, sadistic, philosopher surprisingly he works for the good guys. He calls himself, the first king of pure value (due to his first name). Highly intelligent and extremely wise and logical
Appearance: Black emover that covers his left eye leather jacket that he wears over a purple v-neck, jeans, and dark purple converse
Backstory: I dunno you can decide
Special move: Death by aviation, Kumo sends his opponent into the air, appears behind it and shoots black lightning at the opponent sending it crashing back into the ground.


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

Thanks for the encouragement! But what about a spin track and performance tip for the Bey?


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Resonated_ - Jan. 01, 2014

(Jan. 01, 2014  8:51 PM)Jake Hagane Wrote: Thanks for the encouragement! But what about a spin track and performance tip for the Bey?
:p Sorry totally forgot the spin track and tip are c145SD oh and it's a defense type.


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

Ok thanks for telling me! I'll work on chapter one soon
Actually, I'll work on it now!


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Resonated_ - Jan. 01, 2014

Oh and one more thing, he has a tattoo on his left fore arm that says "with this eye I can see darkness clearly" in Japanese characters and he is 17


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

Ok, well the first chapter fits him then.

Chapter 1 is up!


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Dual - Jan. 01, 2014

It's pretty good, but is "Onyx" a maniac? Haha, I dunno, he's scalding and threatening to stab his friends. Maybe work on the environment description a bit, let us know the details of where the story takes place.


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

OK thanks for the advice. Onyx's description of Onkisu said he was sadistic, and Jackel was never really Onkisu's friend. I'll try to work on the environment more. Thanks for letting me know


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Classik - Jan. 01, 2014

Akai Hanta

BeyGrinark Knight Gawain S130CF

Persona:Akai is a calm collected blader even if his very life could end Akai will help his friends,joker,strong silent.

Appearance:Akai wheres a red jacket with a Black t-shirt under simular to gingka in zero g,red skinny jeans,black and red combat boots

back story:Akai parents died at the start of the war now he just trains to survive

specialmove:Red Knight Hunter,gawain spins into a red tornado that pulses up and down until a spiral like shape is engraved into the staduim


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Resonated_ - Jan. 01, 2014

Chap 2 is FRACKIN AWSOME you are spot on with my character!


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

Ok I'll add it to the OP when chapter 3 is done.


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Resonated_ - Jan. 01, 2014

(Jan. 01, 2014  9:43 PM)Ultramarine Wrote: It's pretty good, but is "Onyx" a maniac? Haha, I dunno, he's scalding and threatening to stab his friends. Maybe work on the environment description a bit, let us know the details of where the story takes place.
I TOLD YOU ONLY GREY CALLS ME THAT! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *Hair spikes up and turns gold* Tongue_out


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Airus - Jan. 01, 2014

Lol
Well Grey is dead, so nobody calls you Onyx now. Lol


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] - Resonated_ - Jan. 01, 2014

*hair returns to normal* awwwww


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Awesome aunt - Jan. 01, 2014

This might not be for kids, but it's good.


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Airus - Jan. 02, 2014

OK I have no idea when chapter 3 is coming, vero is working on it rite now I believe


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Mitsu - Jan. 02, 2014

I love this, Jake! Can't wait to see the next chapter! Wink


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Airus - Jan. 02, 2014

Haha thanks! I believe Vero will be writing the next one but just in case I'll write a version of chap 3.

Chapter 3 is up!


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Bladerguy2 - Jan. 02, 2014

Wow dude i love the story. You did a great job i have decided what bey tyoka's vulcan horuseus will evolve to " Thief Saramanda (light blue thief wheel) 160 * dark blue* GF * dark blue*


RE: Hero's Blade [Beyblade Story] (accepting character requests) - Airus - Jan. 02, 2014

So what'll the first Bey be?