Galaxy blades Kyūkyoku no senshi - Kaneki - Sep. 22, 2013
This is my first story, so i hope you all like. I try my best, I hope to get more chapters up
"Chapter one Night"
It's a dark night, raining, Cold winds and silent. "It's been a long time" said the stranger?. As he opens a box to awake a demon.
The demon says, "I want your body and soon?"
Have it now I'm ready just get it over and done with GOT IT!!! Yes I got it are your sure you want to.
yes, he says go on then do it what are you waiting for do it. He screams, with pain, as the demon takes over half his body his eyes glow red and mouth filled with fire just as he is about to transform.
Brother comes back inside I want to play. Sure thing I will be right There, he quickly takes the object and returns inside.
What was you doing brother? Nothing I was just checking on something.
Let's play common I'm? It's too late at night why don't you go to bed, but I don't NOW! DO IT NOW. OK no need to shout!
It's been 10 minutes it's about time, yukan will sleeping. Aha what going on I'm sleeping o brother what are you doing I'm trying to sleep. Sorry, but I have to kill you. What do you mean?
Attack a demon fire-ball! Why are you doing this, I got to get out of here. You can't hide. Crying, scared and cold yukan gets outside only to find his brother there. I told you can't hide.
Yukan tries to run, but trips and falls. Just before his brother can stab him he rolls. He runs to the bottom of his house where his brother once told him not to go.
Let's play now common let's it's your big brother, you don't want to play, then WELL I DO!!!!!
Yukan makes it to the last floor he finds a sword. He sees some text it says "Brother?"
After he takes it his brother comes I'm going to KILL YOU!!!
NO I will not let you I guess I have no choice, I will have to kill you I am a sorry brother. Yukan runs to attack his brother he strikes he sees blood going everywhere. As dark as the night coming out of him and him lying down dead he starts to cry, but he soon learns......
The end of chapter one.
RE: Galaxy blades Kyūkyoku no senshi - LimiTTrickster - Sep. 22, 2013
There are quite a lot of spelling mistakes and grammar mistakes. Try and keep this accurate and the story will be much better!
RE: Galaxy blades Kyūkyoku no senshi - BIGBANG! - Sep. 22, 2013
The story is really good except your spelling and grammer errors example "in-side" this should be just "inside". I'm making a story now and will be posting it soon would you like me to help you with your spelling and grammer?
RE: Galaxy blades Kyūkyoku no senshi - Kaneki - Sep. 22, 2013
No thanks, lightning blade. Thanks for the feedback, i will correct them.
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