[Beyblade Story] Throughout the Beyges - Scout25 - Dec. 12, 2012
This is my beyblade story! Enjoy!
Note: if you vote that this story is bad, please tell me why you think so. That way I can improve and hopefully make this story the best it can be.
Chapter 1 "Scout! Scout!" Simon was here. I could recognize that voice anywhere. "You've got to see what I found!"
"Our show is about to start though! Can you wait a sec?" I told him.
"Oh yah! Of course!" We sat down to watch the Japanese selection tournament for the beyblade world championships. To decide the team, there were 4 battle royals. "Here we go!" Says Simon. We chant as the DJ does. "Three-two-one-LET IT RIP!" The sound of beyblades clashing came from all four of the stadiums. Almost immediately, a giant wave appeared in stadium 2. All of the beyblades except one stopped spinning. "And the winner is Diante!" Says the DJ. Diante got a pin from the DJ. Suddenly something caught the attention of the DJ. "While we were watching Diante's sweet battle, Jack won in stadium 1!" Jack got the second pin from the DJ. I wonder how it ended? In stadiums 3 and 4 two beyblades were attacking the rest. It seemed as they would win. Both got the stadiums down to only one on one. In stadium 3, the attacking blader knocked out the last opposing blader, and got the last pin. "And Matt takes the last pin!" The last two bladders in stadium 4 both looked up from their battle. They both realized that they would not get a pin. But they continued battling. The attacking blader went for the final attack. "Go Pegasus!" His bey was caught in a fierce clash with the other bey. The opposing blader smiled. His bey dislodged for a second, and then they clashed again. But this time the attacking blader was pushed back and out of the stadium. "And David wins in stadium four!" David still looked disappointed. He asked the DJ, "Is there a pin for me?"
"Why don't you look in my pocket?" Said the DJ. David looked in his pocket. His face lit up, and he pulled a pin from the DJ's pocket. "All four of these bladers will go to the beyblade world championships!"
"Come on, lets go now!" Said Simon. I almost forgot about what he wanted to show me.
Chapter 2 we went outside, and to the edge of the town. Simon was so excited, he couldn't control himself. "We're almost there!" He said. Finally we reached the tree line. Simon walked right into the forest. I hesitated. "It's in there?" I asked. "Yep!" He was so happy he wasn't even jaded by the forest. I followed him reluctantly, but soon I got over my initial fear. After a little bit of walking, we got to a clearing. In the clearing there was a small ditch. In the ditch, something was glittering. Woah! There are beyblades in there! "Cool!" One was red, and the other was green. I picked up the red one. It was almost as if it called to me! Simon held out his hand. In it was a blue beyblade. "I like this one" he said.
"What should we do with the last one?" I asked.
"Eh, we don't need it. Lets just leave it." I wasn't sure at first, but then Simon started leaving and I didn't want to be left behind in the forest. I quickly caught up to him. "We should test these out!" I told him. We thought for a second. Then he said,"Lets do it here!" We both ran home and got our launchers, and returned quickly. "Let's go!"
"Alright" I said.
"Three-two-one-LET IT RIP!" We said together. Both beyblades clashed immediately, and I was pushed back. "Go Hawkor!" I said. Then I was surprised, the words just came to my mouth naturally. I saw Simon with the same face as he said "Leviathan! Finish it!" Then both of our beyblades clashed fiercely. Then suddenly, both were thrown backwards and they stopped spinning. "Good match." I told him.
"Thanks" he said.
RE: My beyblade story: Throught the Beyges. - Dual - Dec. 12, 2012
Pretty good start! Maybe the battles could have been described more but overall good. Also, when Scout s thinking, it should be in italics. Can't wait for chapter 2!
RE: My beyblade story: Throughout the Beyges. - Scout25 - Dec. 12, 2012
I wasn't sure how to do italics....do you know how? Thanks.
RE: My beyblade story: Throughout the Beyges. - Dual - Dec. 12, 2012
When you do a full edit, a bar will appear over the text showing different things. Press the i to begin and i again to end.
RE: [Beyblade Story] Throughout the Beyges - Scout25 - Dec. 12, 2012
Chapter 2 is up now!
RE: [Beyblade Story] Throughout the Beyges - Dual - Dec. 12, 2012
Cool chapter! Just a small tip, take some time to describe the forest, and the beyblades, among other things. But good chapter nonetheless! Also, since i know you personally, i can say this is good work for you! Keep it up!
RE: [Beyblade Story] Throughout the Beyges - Scout25 - Dec. 12, 2012
Thanks! I was planning to describe the beys in more detail a little later, but I understand. Like how would you have me describe the forest?
RE: [Beyblade Story] Throughout the Beyges - Dual - Dec. 12, 2012
Well there seems to be some uneasiness that the main character feels upon entering the forest. Talk about the eerie feeling, the darkness, etc. We should probably take this to pms now.
RE: [Beyblade Story] Throughout the Beyges - Scout25 - Dec. 18, 2012
I'm sorry for the wait, chapter 3 will be up by this Sunday.
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