World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
(Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Printable Version

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(Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Dec. 08, 2012

the Ex-Alchemist (Click to View)
the Return of the FullMetal Alchemist! (Click to View)
the End of the Road…Literally! (Click to View)
the Mysterious Power (Click to View)



RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Achi-baba - Dec. 08, 2012

Awesome story, But you said that you'd only PM those who dissed your story, yet you still PM'ed me.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Dec. 09, 2012

i pmed you becuase i wanted you to know about it k?


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Achi-baba - Dec. 09, 2012

(Dec. 09, 2012  12:03 AM)The Alchemist Wrote: i pmed you becuase i wanted you to know about it k?

I was making a joke, But please accept my char. request.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Dec. 09, 2012

i will it was an eccelent one too



RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - beycrafter01 - Dec. 09, 2012

I like this story. It follows the archetype of some great movies:

-It starts with showing the beginning of the problem that occurs later in the story
-The future hero starts off the day as normal and cheery
-The happy moment is twisted dramatically and takes a dangerous turn

And so on and so forth. But just a suggestion: you might want to add something that shows how Jay was able to truly tell that Envy wasn't Rose in the first chapter. I mean I understand the truck, but still. Like, make him really glimps into the immitator's soul or something. You know, that kind of stuff. But overall I do like it. It could play as a movie. My story (The Bey from the Dark Unknown) is more into being a part of the Beyblade show, but that was my intention. Yours is dramatic and adventurously dangerous. More of being an action-packed movie. If you want, you can check out my chapters and see what I mean.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Dec. 09, 2012

hey thanks beycrafter01 but he saw envy transform into rose so he attacked him at full power


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - beycrafter01 - Dec. 09, 2012

Oh, I guess I missread that part or something. But either way, it's great.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Dec. 09, 2012

thanks he was watching envy transform throught the window k?


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Dec. 28, 2012

Ok guys sorry to double post but i have finished the newest chapter here it is:



RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Achi-baba - Jan. 02, 2013

Yay I was introduced, but it helps to show more obvious transitions. skip lines or something.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - Jan. 02, 2013

kay ill keep that in mind earthwolf1404


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Driger Kai - Mar. 26, 2013

Question, for someone who isn't too far in season one, would reading this spoiler anything (important)?


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Achi-baba - Mar. 28, 2013

Not really unless you want to see both movies.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - May. 26, 2013

Hey guys, I am sorry with the school work and the OAAs it has been hectic, so without furtherado I introduce the newest , and longest, chapter so far, a whole two pages, hope you guys like it Smile

the Mysterious Power (Click to View)
Tell me if you find a typo or a mess up in info , I would love that, and I am still open to Char. Requests, or monster requests, and if you want to help me out with the story line I would like the help, but please try to keep it PG-13 stuff, nothing like In Soul Eater , see ya in a while Smile

P.S. Summer is just a few days away so it will help out ALOT!


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Achi-baba - May. 26, 2013

Nice one, this is one of my favorite chapters. But remember to start a new line when a new person is speaking.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - akio314 - May. 26, 2013

Didn't read much, but good narration. I'm glad to see other people still make Fanfic stories on the WBO. I really shouldn't get all post-happy, my posts are becoming more spammy as I post.


RE: (Story) FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood : After the Promised Day - Seshomaru - May. 28, 2013

Thanks Akio314, I have noticed the decrease as well, and most of the sprite shops I liked are closed too, or are in the necro phase.