World Beyblade Organization by Fighting Spirits Inc.
[Story] The Burn - Printable Version

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+--- Thread: [Story] The Burn (/Thread-Story-The-Burn)



[Story] The Burn - SilverChronos - Oct. 12, 2012

Here is the beginning of my story. I hope you like!



RE: [Story] The Burn - Achi-baba - Oct. 12, 2012

I would have chapter 1 as a prologue, because it is two short to be considered a chapter. Plus be more descriptive about your battles, or else things seem boring.


RE: [Story] The Burn - SilverChronos - Oct. 12, 2012

i'm just starting the story! jeez, man, don't be so harsh in the very beginning. plus, you'll really like a chapter 3 battle, when it arrives. i have already written this story. chill, man.


RE: [Story] The Burn - Achi-baba - Oct. 12, 2012

Sorry, but Everyone gets critisized on their first chapter, I mean my story: http://worldbeyblade.org/Thread-story-Return-of-the-dark-power-ch-1, has been criticized on how it doesn't describe me enough(in a star wars pun at that). At least you could put your chapters in spoilers, I couldn't even figure that out apparently.


RE: [Story] The Burn - ChinaBladeâ„¢ - Oct. 12, 2012

He's just tryin to help, bro...
Anyways, this is too short...
The whole stpry together is basiclly a little bit more than what I consider one chapter.
There also needs to be more description.
Anyways, KIU.


RE: [Story] The Burn - SilverChronos - Oct. 12, 2012

Thanks, China, but I've already written this story, as explained in my other story. I'm just adding the story on slowly. Act 1 is like a chapter, but much longer. After chapter 7, act 2 will come. Plus, why do you always show up as away?


RE: [Story] The Burn - sarabscientist - Oct. 13, 2012

I can clearly differentiate between "harsh" and "acceptable criticism". If you think someone is being unnecessarily hostile, just report and I'll review the comment.