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The World Fooled Around (CHAPTER 5 IS UP!)
BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #1
(This post was last modified: Apr 28 2012 08:57 AM by BeybladerPotter.)
I can't stick to one story can I..

Here's another one that I will sooner or later abandon. I'll try not to.

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter 5
Mar 27 2012 11:49 AM
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Septentrione

Fukyōwaon no teikoku
Post: #2

Seriously, BBP? Stop jumping from one awesome story from another! Anyway, let's pray you don't abandon this. It got me very curious already.

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Mar 31 2012 07:23 PM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #3
(This post was last modified: Apr 03 2012 05:24 PM by BeybladerPotter.)
Chapter One release

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Apr 02 2012 07:56 AM
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Septentrione

Fukyōwaon no teikoku
Post: #4

Whoa! Nice. It's still on the 1st chapter and I'm already pumped! You are talented BBP. What's your Grade in English?
I also like the narrator. He's not boring like the other ones.

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"That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me... This One's A Fighter!" Gym Class Heroes Feat. Ryan Tedder, "The Fighter"
Call me Septy, if my name's too long; Read my stories: Shadows of The Condemned, The Lost Birthday and The Crimson Winter
Apr 03 2012 05:48 AM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #5

I may be good at writing but I don't put quite a lot of effort in my English grade. It stands at 90. But I could do way better since I already got a 97 during the other quarters. I take a damn lot pride in Math (95) and Art (99) though.
But this is getting way off-topic. If you want a detailed report of my grades, PM me. Anyway, thanks a lot. I'll try to update today.

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Apr 03 2012 05:58 AM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #6

Ok. Any criticisms before I move on to the next chapter? I realized that part of the problem of me not able to stick to one story is that I don't get a lot of criticisms to help me write the next chapters. So please send them in.

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Apr 04 2012 04:46 AM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #7

Chapter Two release


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Apr 04 2012 01:31 PM
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Spy

Previously BeyBlast
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Post: #8

Hey did you forget that this is a "BEYBLADE" community, Its not a two-member-chit-chat-story-telling-community.

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Apr 04 2012 01:36 PM
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Synth

Kyūkyoku no gādian
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Post: #9
(This post was last modified: Apr 04 2012 01:49 PM by Synth.)
Um, I should give some comments on this. I don't want you leaving this in the pile of story heaven... Pinching_grin
It's awesome. I like the flow of the story, and the grammar is great (I iz kno Go0d at gramer Tongue_out)
err, that's the only thing I can tell you for now... so yeah nice story!

EDIT:
@BeyBlast: Did you forget that this is the YOUR CREATION forum? WE CAN DO THE HELL WE WANT EXCEPT SPAM IT ALL UP AND ALL.

EDIT2: Ok, Let me edit what did I just say:
Did you forget this is the YOUR CREATION forum? We can post whatever we want ASIDE from beyblades (and spam). Beside, here in this parts of the forum, We make stories, Do GFX, and things related to creating. so, WE CAN DO THE HELL WE WANT EXCEPT SPAM IT ALL UP AND ALL.

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Apr 04 2012 01:37 PM
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Giraton

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Post: #10

funny yet serious at the same time, very cool. i would like to see more of this story. hope you don't quit on it. that reminds me i got to get back to my one some day.

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Apr 04 2012 01:55 PM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #11

Haha. I feel very comfortable with this story since I'm actually writing AND narrating it so I don't think I'll leave it any time. It's also summer here so I have more time to finish it. And thanks for the comments. Thanks DeX for editing your post. Thanks to both for commenting lol.

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Apr 04 2012 02:09 PM
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Septentrione

Fukyōwaon no teikoku
Post: #12

Hey! Nice chapter. I have to know what's the narrator's name so I can recruit. Pinching_grin Anyway. Nice fluid story telling and small to almost no grammar mistakes. Nice job, BBP.

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Great Scott! Signature made by me finally!
"That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me... This One's A Fighter!" Gym Class Heroes Feat. Ryan Tedder, "The Fighter"
Call me Septy, if my name's too long; Read my stories: Shadows of The Condemned, The Lost Birthday and The Crimson Winter
Apr 04 2012 02:27 PM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #13

Lol. The narrator's name is secret. Though, it might just be Dr. Seuss. Nah. Kidding. The narrator is busy with this but he can help co-write. Wink

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Apr 05 2012 04:23 AM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #14

Just so you guys know and basing on my record, I have to say this. I DID NOT ABANDON THIS. I'm just on a two-night stay at a hotel with my family. I'm checking out tomorrow and I can grammar check the 3rd chapter and post it.

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Apr 07 2012 05:07 AM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #15

Chapter 3 Release!

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Apr 10 2012 12:05 PM
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Giraton

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Post: #16

i have no idea what happened in that chapter, was it ment to be so fast and saying so many things that have not yet been explained in the story? i was reading it, hooked on what was going on but when it stoped just one thing poped in my head, ‘what the heck just happened!’

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Apr 10 2012 12:25 PM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #17

Well. You'll see. Promovere plays an important part in the story. And well. With what happened to Vance in the 2nd chapter. The chapter was supposed to be fast since Promovere was rushing to get to the forest. It just seems...short because I post it one by one. If this were a whole book, you wouldn't say so. Anyway, thanks.

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Apr 10 2012 12:53 PM
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FROZEN

AWAKENER
Post: #18

ahhh another story line~ let i read it Pegasis_Wink

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Apr 10 2012 02:01 PM
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Septentrione

Fukyōwaon no teikoku
Post: #19

Oh, so that's the whole chapter. Great one in fact. For some reason I get the strangest feeling Provomere is going to win against the dragon. Unsurprisingly. Pinching_grin.

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Great Scott! Signature made by me finally!
"That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me... This One's A Fighter!" Gym Class Heroes Feat. Ryan Tedder, "The Fighter"
Call me Septy, if my name's too long; Read my stories: Shadows of The Condemned, The Lost Birthday and The Crimson Winter
Apr 11 2012 05:10 AM
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BeybladerPotter

飛ぶ空
Post: #20

Hehe. I'll take some time describing the kingdom in the next chapter.

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Apr 13 2012 04:36 AM
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