Beyblade VS Battle Strikers

Poll: What the heck do you think?

Awesome
34.19%
40
Great
7.69%
9
Pretty good
23.08%
27
Needs some work
17.09%
20
Boo!
17.95%
21
Total: 100% 117 vote(s)
Hrm... Does the "narrarator" ever come into play as an omniscient overseer of sorts? It would seem that the story is being told by some power/person who is observing the whole story as it happens, and would likely improve the story's ability to explain unforeseen events without the usual theoretical/hypothetical input/analysis from Milly. Just my point of view.
Love the story, can you put the chapters in the OP?
by OP you mean the first post?
Yeah, OP (Opening Post)
Keep up the good work!
(Aug. 06, 2011  9:46 AM)MarcoThePhoenix Wrote: Listen temporal I may not have been good but I you're sugar coating this story right now I'm not gonna take that. I appreciate your input and I wasn't trying to insult him and my new story is gonna kick carp so stop putting me down I believe it was you who said saying this is awesome when its not is not helpingg the situation
Pardon my spelling I'm using the mobile browser on my touchscreen phone

This might not be the right thing to say but this Thread isn't about YOUR story Marco , its about T-L Drago's. Could you let this go so he can continue?
I've got a question about Luna Freeze.Did you make up the tip and spin track?also what does the V stand for in Luna Freeze's spin track and what does AF stand for in it's tip?
@ BeybladerLeone: The Variable 145 Spin Track isn't made up, but the Around Flat tip is!
what does the around flat tip do?
Like Sol Blaze's AS tip, the Around Flat tip has a free-spinning bowl-like ring surrounding it, and the tip itself has a surface area similar to Rubber Defense Flat, only it's made of plastic.
so Luna Freeze is based on Sol Blaze?also i noticed that their energy ring and fusion wheel are opposites Luna=Sol,Blaze=Freeze.
and the opposite of a Sharp tip is a Flat tip, and AF is the opposite of AS.
how's chapter 13C coming on?
It's going pretty good. And did you like the index I've put in the first post?
yup i did
Glad you liked it. Came in real handy, didn't it?
very handy
Yup, pretty much.
I've started a new story just to let you know.
Okay then
can't wait for chapter 13C.
I'm glad you're eager for it! Smile
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!POST IT ALREADY!{sorry if it sounds rude}
Dude, calm down! I may have to split CHapter 13C into two parts for all we know, and NO, I wasn't offended!
Chapter 13C1: There goes the Neighborhood! Part 1

The four bladers decided to take a little tour of this neighborhood mentioned by Jorgen at the tournament at Oceanview High School. Zane, however, decided to stay behind and keep an eye on Diana. They went back to the convenience store, and decided to ask the clerk for directions. Reiji says to him, "Hey, I've heard about this neighborhood that has a community of Beybladers, and we're wondering if you have any directions or a map to get there." The clerk replied, "Why yes, one of my regular customers live in that neighborhood, and he often comes here to buy Striker parts, so he could use them to find top-tier customizations for tournaments, and recommend them, too! Plus, he's reputed among many circles of Battle Striker players for exposing cheaters. Plus, I heard he's made a surprise appearance at that tourney at the High School, 'cause his brother's been using an illegally-modified part.", to which Milly gasped, "That sounds like Miguel Hawkins the Cheater Hunter!". The clerk nodded as he then handed Reiji a map of the town, as well as its neighborhood.

After leaving the store with the map, the quartet followed the directions on the map, until they eventually reached the neighborhood, which is named Viewpark Terrace. "Here we are", said Reiji, "Let's see if we could find some Bladers to battle--", when Alister interrupted, "Or maybe they'll find and challenge us, thinking they could win." The group was about to take another step when they hear a whirring sound before noticing a Beyblade sailing towards them fast! Jackie was quick enough to launch her Burn Pisces at the Bey, knocking it away onto the sidewalk, as the Five Star Bey dutifully returns to its mistress. Before Reiji could come and pick up the strange Beyblade, he and the others hear a young voice call out, "Hold it! That's my Beyblade right there! Oh, and sorry 'bout that, my aim's kinda bad today!", as its owner came running up to the fallen Bey, picking it up, and putting it in his pocket. He is a boy of at least 10 years old, and has spiky blonde hair, tan skin, and pale blue eyes. He is also wearing a black t-shirt with a cartoon skull on it, as well as a pair of khaki shorts and of flip-flops. In his left hand is a ripcord launcher, similar to the one that came with the Xeronix Beyblade that Jorgen gave Reiji at the tournament, but it is right-spin and rectangular. The kid picked up his Beyblade with a sheepish smile on his face, before introducing himself, "Anyways, the name's Mack. Mack Franks. I know, I know, it's not exactly the coolest-sounding name, but a name is a name! Speaking of names, mind if I know yours?"

The four bladers introduced themselves in return, before showing him their Beyblades. Mack was awestruck by their design and said, "Wow! I've never seen Beyblades like these before!", before asking, "What system are they from?", to which Reiji replied, "Me and Alister's Beys are from the 4D System, while Milly and Jackie's Beys are Hybrid Wheel System ones.", before asking, "Anyways, what kind of Beyblade you got?". Mack responds, "Hold it a minute. Lemme get it out of my pocket.", as he reached into his pocket, and pulled out his Beyblade, which has a whitish-colored ring with six protrusions. Three of them have long slopes that slant upwards. In the center of the disk is a circle with a picture of a blue, serpentine creature resembling an Oriental dragon. The Beyblade also has a thick-looking metal disk below with an octagonal shape. Below the metal disk is a cone-like base with a wide angle, and on the bottom is a flat tip, signifying that this Bey is an Attack-type. "Guys", started Mack proudly, "Say hello to Master Dragoon, an Attack-type with the Upper Dragon Attack Ring, 8 Heavy Weight Disk, Right SG Spin Gear, and SG Flat Blade Base!". Reiji thought for a moment and remarked, "Wait, this reminds me!", before reaching into his backpack and pulling out the wooden box given to him by Jorgen. Mack asks, "What's in that box, Reiji?", to which the latter replied, "It's a Beyblade. The guy who gave it to me said it's called Xeronix or something." That's when Mack got excited and said, "Xeronix!? Let me see!", to which Reiji replied, "Whoa whoa whoa! Hold on there, kid! Let me get it out of the box first.", as he opened the box, and taking out the four-bladed Bey. Mack took Xeronix into his hand and looked it over with awe and interest. Alister asks, "What do you think?", to which Mack replied, "I never would have thought that I'd see one of these, up close and personal, even though my Master Dragoon could beat this way too easily. Plus, this doesn't have a Bit-Beast either, but otherwise, this is one cool Beyblade!"

Milly got curious at the mention of Bit-Beasts and asks him, "Excuse me, but, what are Bit-Beasts?", and that was the question that caused Mack to go off! He asks with an outraged tone, "W-w-whaaa!? You don't know what Bit-Beasts are?!", to which Jackie replied exasperatedly, "Of course we don't, you nut job!". Alister groaned irritably, and scolded them, "Don't start, you two!", to which Jackie and Mack shrunk back in fear. Reiji whispers to Mack, "Just so you know, Al here REALLY hates it when people around him get into fights with each other.", to which the latter nodded quickly. Alister then calmed down before saying to Mack, "Anyways, you still have a question you've got to answer.", to which he replied, "Hey, slow down! I'll tell you what Bit-Beasts are, just let me clear my throat! *ahem* The Bit-Beasts are these powerful spirits that inhabit certain Beyblades, like mine for instance. A true Blader would be able to maintain a strong bond with his or her Bit-Beast, and achieve victory in battle with that bond."

After listening to the young Blader's explanation, our four main protagonists also told Mack that their Beyblades too contain powerful spirits.

To Be Continued...

Author's Note: I hope you guys don't mind me splitting 13C into two parts. Don't worry, I'll start 13C2 this weekend if I can.
loved the chapter