Beyblade: Legends

Hi everyone! I'm NightWolf and I've always had this great idea for a story. I'll be posting the first episode of Legends soon and any constructive criticism is welcome!

I will not use your characters until the National Tournament. All characters WILL be accepted and used, but later!
Beyblade: Legends

Episode 1: Origins: Beyblade!

It was his first time in Tokyo, a poor boy from Kyoto coming with his family on vacation. Vacation, more like escape. As he apprehensively traversed the wide city streets, he mentally compared the environment of the metropolis to his poor slum known pejoratively as the Narrows. His amber eyelids shuddered at the memories, the horrible scarring experiences that he had endured. But this city was different. In Tokyo, people laughed. In Tokyo, people weren't killed on the streets.

Two children suddenly galloped their way past him and ran into what appeared to be a fun house on the side of the alley. The boy read the sign: Toi Syoppu
He apathetically shrugged and entered the colorful emporium. Inside there were planes flying on strings and toy trains running obediently on plastic tracks and countless boxes of amusing machines and contraptions that would surely bring joy to any child. Except for this boy, who merely scanned the isles in silence, a shade cast across his young unblemished face. The shopkeeper glanced over uncomfortably at the withdrawn boy standing in the corner underneath the television set.

"Hello there!" said the shopkeeper in perfect English, "What's your name?" His dirty blond hair fell over his forehead in wisps and his green overalls were stained brown in some spots. At first glance, he appeared to be a little over the age of forty. However, despite the man's age, his smile was that of a 10-year old boy.

"R-Reiiji" the boy said timidly, his eyes darting to avoid the shopkeeper's gaze. The shopkeeper opened his mouth to express a sentiment, but he was interrupted by the hollers of several young boys in the back of the shop. The shopkeeper let out a wry smile as he eased across the mob of children to see what all the commotion was about and Reiiji keenly followed suit. After swimming through the rampant crowd, Reiiji noticed they were surrounding a large dish.

"Haha, theres no way your blade could ever beat mine!" one boy said.

"Oh yeah? Go, attack!" the other boy said. Reiiji fought his way into the mob to take a closer look at the action inside the dish.

He watched in silent fascination at the battle of the two tops. The boy's eyes shimmered and glistened with excitement under the bright neon light. Eventually one top overpowered the other and the crowd cleared, but Reiiji remained behind, still captivated.

"I can give you a starter pack of Beyblades for 1500 yen. What do ya say, kid?" asked the shopkeeper with a warm smile, his English clearly well practiced. Reiiji nodded his head ecstatically, having processed nothing of what the man had just said, except for one word, Beyblade.

"Reiiji!" a man shouted from the outside the shop. Suddenly the door swung open and a clearly drunken man hobbled in. He clumsily walked to the back of the store. The children stared at the inebriated fellow in fascination. Some giggled in amusement. The tall man stood over Reiiji like a monolith.

"What are you doing here?! I told you not to wander off!" he spat out in slurred speech. Reiiji glanced up at his father's unshaven face underneath the glow of the neon cylinder and then back down at the bowl where the two tops still lay, covered under the shade of his father's trenchcoat. The boy bit his lip and said nothing. The silence lingered for a moment, then the drunken man clamped down on Reiiji's arm and stormed out of the shop.

"You're going to be punished for this. Severely punished. I told you to wait outside the back of the pub" the man blared as the door closed. Reiiji feet dragged along the pavement as he took one last look at the shop. The blonde man was facing the window with a look of resignation. Clutched in his hands, a green box with the depiction of a spinning top on the side. He watched as Reiiji disappeared into the dark of the night.

Next on Beyblade: Legends

Episode 2: Origins: Entering the Regional Tournament! Part I
Nice story! Keep up the good work. Are you taking character requests?
Hmmm...Okay. But I'll have to set some conditions. Any character requests must have beyblades that don't have bit beasts. Just describe the blade that the person has and I'll see if I can get the character through.
It's pretty sweet. Kinda short, but sweet.

Is Reiiji gonna get a beyblade or will he stay a spectator?
No, he's going to get a beyblade alright. Or rather...he's going to make one
Nice vocabulary used, not something I usually see in a fiction on this site to be quite honest.
(Dec. 31, 2010  1:34 AM)REtread Wrote: Nice vocabulary used, not something I usually see in a fiction on this site to be quite honest.

Lol, thanks. What do you think of the story though?
Good story are you gonna be taking requests on what beyblade he's going to have or
have you already decided?
great job on the story so far, so whats gonna be his bey?
Sry guys, I kind of already decided, and Ryuki, he's gonna have at least one before he gets his main blade
awesome work!
Wow!!! That's really good!!!! Can't wait for the next installment.
Beyblade: Legends

Episode 2: Origins: Entering the Regional Tournament! Part I


Finally, it was complete. It had taken days, weeks, and months of scrounging up pieces of plastic and metal off the floors of Beyblade arenas and figuring out ways to assemble them. He had toiled and struggled over it, and one could only hope it had all been worth it. In Reiiji's hands he held the final product. In his hand he held his Beyblade.

Four years had passed since Reiiji's vacation to Tokyo, but he had not forgotten a single detail of the Toy Shop. He recalled the harsh lights, the slick slope of the Beyblade arena, and the excitement of the crowd. His eyes creased as he remembered the fond experience, but it faded quickly when he reached the end of his daydream. When his father had stormed in, dragging the boy to the streets. When he had looked back at the expression on the shopkeeper's face. And then the hell that had followed that. Reiiji lightly traced a curved scar on his left cheek with his index finger. It was slight, but noticeable, especially in the light. It hadn't healed terribly well either. Reiiji glanced darkly at his other hand, it was still holding the Blade he had built. As if out of a trance, he snapped to action, putting the blade through its final test.

He opened a drawer and took out his broken "lightly used" launcher he had bought from the local market. He inserted the ripcord into the rectangular opening and then affixed it to his Beyblade. The contraption hovered over a used cooking pot, scratched from years of use. Anxiously, he placed his index finger into the ripcord and counted down, though it made no difference.

"Tsuri, Tu, Wan, Gooo Shoot!" He felt the metal gears of the launcher grind and his beyblade went flying into the scratched metal bowl. The moment of truth had arrived. None of Reiiji's previous projects had ever survived this test.

With a loud clang the metal tip made contact with the bowl and the Beyblade began spinning. Reiiji anxiously waited to see if it would break down. It was not the hardiest of tops. He had constructed the attack wheel out of two broken ones he had found on the floor of a Beyblade shop. He toyed with them for weeks trying to balance them out. The mid section spin track was the only genuine part of the piece, a 145 track if he remembered accurately. The tip was nothing more than a sharp metal spoke he had affixed to the track. Reiiji clearly expected the broken down Blade to collapse but to his surprise, the toy managed to spin for a while, outlasting even his best previous efforts.

"Yatta*!" he let out with joy. He grabbed his blade and marveled at its beautiful imperfections. Finally he had a Beyblade to call his own. He could finally compete with the rest of the happy, unrestrained children he had seen in the shop. Reiiji's glee was short-lived, however, for his victory cry had attracted Tsukuyo's attention. Reiiji's father stormed into the room clasping the neck of a beer bottle in his left hand.

"What are you...doing in here..." he babbled. Reiiji instinctively pushed the launcher under his bed and hid his Beyblade.

"N-nothing Dad...I just found something I lost a long time ago" Reiiji meekly replied.

"Did you...do your homework?..." he asked.

"Y-yes Daddy...like always. Don't you see me doing it when I get home from school?" he responded, realizing full well his efforts were pointless.

"Well do it again! We don't have room for drop-outs in this house!" he mumbled.

Drop-out. The word echoed in Reiiji's head. Such a word had never applied to him. In fact he was top of his class and he excelled in school. Unlike most children living in the Narrows he went to school in downtown Kyoto in the Kyoto Academy for Higher Education. His father would often grumble about the cost of the schooling, but was never quite mad enough to put an end to it completely.

"Get out your books, you good-for-nothing!" Tsukuyo yelled, as he pushed through the curtain that was Reiiji's door. Reiiji quickly took out a piece of paper and pretended to write whenever he heard his father's footsteps in the hall. Eventually, the old man's footsteps stopped and he collapsed in a drunken stupor. Seizing the opportunity, Reiiji climbed out the window of his tent-like hovel, and with his beyblade in hand he set off for the lights of the city.

*"I did it!"

Next on Beyblade: Legends

Episode 2: Origins: Entering the Regional Tournament! Part II
if i have a character does the beyblade have to be made with original or real parts?
Not at all
Great i like it Smile if you are taking character requests heres one John bey Lightning L-Drago 100RF clothing jeans sneakers ans a t-shirt with L-Drago's face on it. brown hair. Gets a little crazy in battle.
(Dec. 31, 2010  8:19 PM)LDRAGO KING Wrote: Great i like it Smile if you are taking character requests heres one John bey Lightning L-Drago 100RF clothing jeans sneakers ans a t-shirt with L-Drago's face on it. brown hair. Gets a little crazy in battle.

Can you make it a Japanese name? And no bit-beasts for now unless you can wait a looong time. If you want it to be in the next 7 or so episodes, make it without a bit beast, just describe it
name Yamato what do you mean no bit beast
I mean it doesn't have a spirit inside of it, unless you can wait until the National finals which is kind of a long ways away
ok its just a facebolt not a beast basically a real life bey.
K i'll get yours in then
yeah i'll get yours in too